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The Moment That Separates Golfers

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The tendency of almost every golfer is to worry about getting things right. We obsess over our swings and whether or not our technique is correct. We want the ball to go exactly where we are aimed, and anything less than success usually results in disappointment. The hardest thing to come to terms with about this game is that we are going to have more mistakes than successes.

Because we are so preoccupied with getting things right, we ultimately don’t develop a much more important skill, which is how to deal with our failures. You might not think it’s true, but being able to handle your mistakes on the course is actually just as important as fixing your swing if you really want to improve. I like to think of it as the moment that separates golfers.

The One Tip I Never Forgot

When I was a teenager and really starting to take golf seriously, I had the privilege of learning under a great Australian teacher named Alex for a few weeks. He was an aspiring professional player, and in his spare time he would teach juniors how to play the game for extra money. Aside from all of the technical information that he gave me to improve my swing, there was one conversation we had during a round that I’ll never forget.

I was having an absolutely dreadful day, and had mentally packed it in. He pulled me aside on the back nine, looked me in the eye and told me, “Jon, your round is never over. Every single shot is an opportunity to turn things around. You never know when it’s going to come.”

In all of the tips I’ve received over the years, I always look back at this one as the most important. Almost 20 years later I know exactly what he is talking about. Every round of golf is going to be filled with bad shots. How you react to each one mostly determines how the rest of your day is going to go.

Resolve and Staying Present

The two greatest tools a golfer can have are resolve and the ability to stay present. That’s exactly what Alex was talking about when he pulled me aside that day. No matter how great your swing is, or how well your round is going, you are going to be facing adversity on the golf course. These are the moments that separate the good players from the average ones.

All of the best golfers I have ever been around have a remarkable ability to not let their mistakes rattle them. They keep their focus on the shot at hand, and never give up hope that a good stretch of holes is about to begin.

One of the major breakthroughs I had in my game was beginning to take control of my emotions. I’m only human, so I do continue to struggle with getting down on myself after a bad tee shot or a missed par put. However, there is no question the rounds where I shoot my best scores are the ones where I can conquer these negative thoughts.

How Do You Conquer the Moment?

When I refer to “the moment,” I am talking about when your tee shot finds the trees after you just made a few pars in a row. It’s when out of nowhere you chunk a 7-iron in the fairway. I could go on, but you get the point.

Every single golfer at every level has these moments, and they are all relative to our own games. A missed green to a scratch golfer can be just as mentally damaging as the topped drive to a 30-handicap.

If I had a foolproof solution for how to control your emotions when these things happen, then I wouldn’t be writing this article right now. I’d be sipping a cold beer on my 100-foot yacht or playing a round at Augusta, because I would have solved the most important problem in all of golf, and people would be throwing money at me to find out my secret.

The reason why it’s impossible to solve this issue is because we are human. It’s in our nature to let our expectations get the best of us, and lose our composure when something happens that we don’t think should. That being said, the first step to improving your ability to stay in the moment during a round is to give up this notion that all of your shots are supposed to turn out well.

Embrace that horrible tee shot; it was supposed to happen.

That’s not to say you should be happy about it, but you have to accept that it occurred, and do your best to not let it affect your next shot (file that in the easier-said-than-done drawer).

A Little Perspective

Here’s the good news. You can break 100, 90, or even 80 while making a ton of mistakes. I had a round last year where I did not advance the ball more than 50 yards on three of my tee shots. It was terribly embarrassing, but I was able to laugh each one off and go on with my day. I ended up shooting a 75 after making birdie on three of the last four holes. It easily could been a round where I packed it in after a third horrific tee shot, but on that day I was able to conquer those moments.

The key is to not let your initial mistakes lead to other ones. Again, this is insanely difficult, and even the best golfers of all time have routinely failed at this.

If you can get incrementally better at conquering these moments on the course, you will see strokes coming off your scores. I’ve watched players with the most beautiful swings you’ve ever seen never reach their potential because they couldn’t control their emotions. I’ve also seen golfers with what many would consider bizarre swings shoot amazing scores because they never let their bad shots get to them.

Expectations are everything in golf. If you can start to be more realistic with what you expect of yourself on each shot, then it will help you deal with the inevitable failures that occur in every single round. In other words, don’t be so hard on yourself, and focus on the shot at hand.

Jon is the author of the bestselling book, "101 Mistakes All Golfers Make (and how to fix them)". He is the owner of Practical Golf, a site dedicated to being an honest resource for golfers of all levels looking to improve their games. His advice is written through a player’s perspective, and he is passionate about coaching golfers in their quest to lower their scores and enjoy the game more. Overall, Jon believes golf is a difficult game, but it doesn’t have to be a complicated one. You can find him on Twitter @practicalgolf, where he is happy to chat about golf with anyone.

15 Comments

15 Comments

  1. NLB

    Apr 26, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    Yeah that’s what they all say, this is the anonymous web, dontcha know

  2. not smizzle

    Apr 26, 2016 at 12:48 am

    At this moment, there are only 2 shanks for this article, which is GolfWRX record. I came here to say “well done”!

  3. Double Mocha Man

    Apr 25, 2016 at 8:31 pm

    As a college golfer I was not the longest, not the most accurate, not the best putter of the ball. But I had a 34 – 5 record in individual matches. I let myself give up, I quit on myself, I threw in the towel, I stopped caring… AFTER the ball fell into the cup on the 18th hole. That was my approach and it worked. I simply outlasted my opponents and I’m sure that frustrated them.

  4. tony

    Apr 25, 2016 at 10:35 am

    so is your recipe for on-course success to expect a perfect round with no adversity? if that’s the mindset that breeds success how do you recommend golfers react when they do face adversity on the course?

    and by the way participation trophies have been around forever bud. Just about every sport for decades provided season end trophies. Everyone acts like this is some new phenomenon millennials invented but it aint. I’ve seen dozens of trophies from basketball, football, and baseball my 65 year old father accrued growing up that weren’t exclusively for region, county, and or state championships.

  5. Pops

    Apr 25, 2016 at 2:43 am

    None of that stuff matters.
    In the amateur world, in the public golf course world, the most important thing, and the first thing that I learned, in respect to all golfers, the course, the marshals, and the greenskeepers, and the game, is……….
    “Leave the course in as good as shape as you found it. Fix all divots, rake bunkers, repair as many ballmarks, and pick up any trash you come across left behind by others. Because you know who’s coming behind you? Other players. And if everybody does the same, the course will be as good as it can be.”
    I didn’t even hit a ball before I was told that, by the first people who told me what the game was about, when I was 4. I guess I had really decent people around me then.
    It’s a shame what the game has degenerated into.

    • Mat

      Apr 25, 2016 at 7:19 am

      “Back in my day, we played golf with white balls in the snow, and walked uphill on every hole. We all wore spats and appreciated the senior members who still played hickory.”

      GET OFF MY LAWN

    • Brad

      Apr 25, 2016 at 1:57 pm

      What does that even mean? LOL.

      Someone opened up the wrong flap on their weekly pill dispenser… It’s MONDAY Pops.

      Good Lord.

    • Cazzo

      Apr 26, 2016 at 1:46 am

      Pops has got it right and has separated himself you numbskulls

    • Duncan Castles

      Apr 26, 2016 at 12:37 pm

      The two most important rules of golf. 1) Don’t hit your ball until the group in front are out of range. 2) Repair the course as you play.
      Sadly, there are a number of people out there who consider these optional.

  6. larrybud

    Apr 24, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    Smiz, if you think every great player never had a bad day, then I honestly have to wonder if you actually play golf. The best golfers in the world lose most of the time. The best player in the last 40 years at his best was winning only 1/3 of the time.

    I honestly don’t know how you arrived at your conclusion reading the same article I did. This isn’t about getting a participation trophy or saying it’s OK to be bad. It’s about staying mentally in the present when things aren’t going your way, so that you can pull out of the funk and start playing up to your potential.

    How do you want players to react when they’re off for the day? Throw some clubs, take chunks out of the course, quit after 9?

  7. Derek

    Apr 24, 2016 at 8:48 pm

    You got it right here and I have been trying to improve my focus and not get distracted by a bad shot or an unlucky bounce. I see now my next progression will be able to reset and think clearly so I don’t set myself up to make a second mistake.
    Still think the biggest challenge is listening to other people you play with and their running commentary of what they just did wrong, how tough you lie is and all the other issues with the world.
    It’s a lot easier to play with three positive individuals that look forward. I see the opportunity to support my playing partners play well by complimenting their good shots and just not commenting on anything other.

  8. Other Paul

    Apr 24, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    I am not sure what i think of this article. In my last 9 hole round i shot 43. I was one over standing on the 7th tee. It was a 600 yard par 5. I made bogey. I was okay with that. Next tee i pretty much topped my wedge on a par 3. I finished with another bogey. I was still okay with that. I have never shot a 39 on 9 holes before. I was still thinking “This could still be my best round ever”. Then i topped my tee shot into a pond and ended the round with a 4 putt. When my pride and ego get ahead of me i flop. Every time. It drives me crazy. I hit 3 GIR. But i had a hand full of one putts (1.5 putts per hole average even with a 4 putt). If i missed the green i hit my wedges inside 15′ and made the putt. If I can stop beating myself i could shoot par on 9 holes this summer at least once.

  9. Ralph White

    Apr 24, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    Mr. Smizzle.

    You write like a Navy SEAL or a gore-soaked viking. It’s a game. A terrible, complicated game where no one: NO ONE starts as a great shooter. Showing up, putting in the hours and trying is the only way to improve. By your logic, everyone should pack it up that doesn’t come on their first day with a set of Callaways on their first day and break 80. People like you drive beginners (some would have been GREATS) and recreational gamers off the course with your rather bizarre and faulted attitude that this is some sort of blood sport, where the weak are culled for human sacrifice and only those who can bench press 300 while driving the cart on two wheels may get past the putting facility. Quite frankly, you are WRONG. Coach Lombardi would tell you: Champions have character in equal parts to their talent. Character is what prevails when talent fails you on any given stroke.

    Good luck to your game, and your set of mega-dollar, bent over your knee clubs. I laugh out loud when I mis-hit. Ask any of my playing partners…. it’s not weakness, it’s called enjoying the game.

  10. Jon Sherman

    Apr 24, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    Mr. Smizzle – I welcome all feedback on my articles (even negative), but I’m having a hard time understanding how you came to that conclusion. I think Derek’s interpretation was a bit more appropriate.

    I’m not here to lower golfers’ expectations, I’m here to make them more realistic. Even the best rounds of golf ever played featured mistakes that those players had to overcome. It’s just not possible to have perfection in golf. How you react is the essence of mental toughness, which is something I think every golfer can benefit from.

    Either way, thanks for your feedback and hopefully I cleared it up a little bit for you.

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Opinion & Analysis

The 2 primary challenges golf equipment companies face

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As the editor-in-chief of this website and an observer of the GolfWRX forums and other online golf equipment discourse for over a decade, I’m pretty well attuned to the grunts and grumbles of a significant portion of the golf equipment purchasing spectrum. And before you accuse me of lording above all in some digital ivory tower, I’d like to offer that I worked at golf courses (public and private) for years prior to picking up my pen, so I’m well-versed in the non-degenerate golf equipment consumers out there. I touched (green)grass (retail)!

Complaints about the ills of and related to the OEMs usually follow some version of: Product cycles are too short for real innovation, tour equipment isn’t the same as retail (which is largely not true, by the way), too much is invested in marketing and not enough in R&D, top staffer X hasn’t even put the new driver in play, so it’s obviously not superior to the previous generation, prices are too high, and on and on.

Without digging into the merits of any of these claims, which I believe are mostly red herrings, I’d like to bring into view of our rangefinder what I believe to be the two primary difficulties golf equipment companies face.

One: As Terry Koehler, back when he was the CEO of Ben Hogan, told me at the time of the Ft Worth irons launch, if you can’t regularly hit the golf ball in a coin-sized area in the middle of the face, there’s not a ton that iron technology can do for you. Now, this is less true now with respect to irons than when he said it, and is less and less true by degrees as the clubs get larger (utilities, fairways, hybrids, drivers), but there remains a great deal of golf equipment truth in that statement. Think about it — which is to say, in TL;DR fashion, get lessons from a qualified instructor who will teach you about the fundamentals of repeatable impact and how the golf swing works, not just offer band-aid fixes. If you can’t repeatably deliver the golf club to the golf ball in something resembling the manner it was designed for, how can you expect to be getting the most out of the club — put another way, the maximum value from your investment?

Similarly, game improvement equipment can only improve your game if you game it. In other words, get fit for the clubs you ought to be playing rather than filling the bag with the ones you wish you could hit or used to be able to hit. Of course, don’t do this if you don’t care about performance and just want to hit a forged blade while playing off an 18 handicap. That’s absolutely fine. There were plenty of members in clubs back in the day playing Hogan Apex or Mizuno MP-32 irons who had no business doing so from a ballstriking standpoint, but they enjoyed their look, feel, and complementary qualities to their Gatsby hats and cashmere sweaters. Do what brings you a measure of joy in this maddening game.

Now, the second issue. This is not a plea for non-conforming equipment; rather, it is a statement of fact. USGA/R&A limits on every facet of golf equipment are detrimental to golf equipment manufacturers. Sure, you know this, but do you think about it as it applies to almost every element of equipment? A 500cc driver would be inherently more forgiving than a 460cc, as one with a COR measurement in excess of 0.83. 50-inch shafts. Box grooves. And on and on.

Would fewer regulations be objectively bad for the game? Would this erode its soul? Fortunately, that’s beside the point of this exercise, which is merely to point out the facts. The fact, in this case, is that equipment restrictions and regulations are the slaughterbench of an abundance of innovation in the golf equipment space. Is this for the best? Well, now I’ve asked the question twice and might as well give a partial response, I guess my answer to that would be, “It depends on what type of golf you’re playing and who you’re playing it with.”

For my part, I don’t mind embarrassing myself with vintage blades and persimmons chasing after the quasi-spiritual elevation of a well-struck shot, but that’s just me. Plenty of folks don’t give a damn if their grooves are conforming. Plenty of folks think the folks in Liberty Corner ought to add a prison to the museum for such offences. And those are just a few of the considerations for the amateur game — which doesn’t get inside the gallery ropes of the pro game…

Different strokes in the game of golf, in my humble opinion.

Anyway, I believe equipment company engineers are genuinely trying to build better equipment year over year. The marketing departments are trying to find ways to make this equipment appeal to the broadest segment of the golf market possible. All of this against (1) the backdrop of — at least for now — firm product cycles. And golfers who, with their ~15 average handicap (men), for the most part, are not striping the golf ball like Tiger in his prime and seem to have less and less time year over year to practice and improve. (2) Regulations that massively restrict what they’re able to do…

That’s the landscape as I see it and the real headwinds for golf equipment companies. No doubt, there’s more I haven’t considered, but I think the previous is a better — and better faith — point of departure when formulating any serious commentary on the golf equipment world than some of the more cynical and conspiratorial takes I hear.

Agree? Disagree? Think I’m worthy of an Adam Hadwin-esque security guard tackle? Let me know in the comments.

@golfoncbs The infamous Adam Hadwin tackle ? #golf #fyp #canada #pgatour #adamhadwin ? Ghibli-style nostalgic waltz – MaSssuguMusic

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Podcasts

Fore Love of Golf: Introducing a new club concept

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Episode #16 brings us Cliff McKinney. Cliff is the founder of Old Charlie Golf Club, a new club, and concept, to be built in the Florida panhandle. The model is quite interesting and aims to make great, private golf more affordable. We hope you enjoy the show!

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Opinion & Analysis

On Scottie Scheffler wondering ‘What’s the point of winning?’

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Last week, I came across a reel from BBC Sport on Instagram featuring Scottie Scheffler speaking to the media ahead of The Open at Royal Portrush. In it, he shared that he often wonders what the point is of wanting to win tournaments so badly — especially when he knows, deep down, that it doesn’t lead to a truly fulfilling life.

 

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“Is it great to be able to win tournaments and to accomplish the things I have in the game of golf? Yeah, it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it because I’ve literally worked my entire life to be good at this sport,” Scheffler said. “To have that kind of sense of accomplishment, I think, is a pretty cool feeling. To get to live out your dreams is very special, but at the end of the day, I’m not out here to inspire the next generation of golfers. I’m not out here to inspire someone to be the best player in the world, because what’s the point?”

Ironically — or perhaps perfectly — he went on to win the claret jug.

That question — what’s the point of winning? — cuts straight to the heart of the human journey.

As someone who’s spent over two decades in the trenches of professional golf, and in deep study of the mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of the game, I see Scottie’s inner conflict as a sign of soul evolution in motion.

I came to golf late. I wasn’t a junior standout or college All-American. At 27, I left a steady corporate job to see if I could be on the PGA Tour starting as a 14-handicap, average-length hitter. Over the years, my journey has been defined less by trophies and more by the relentless effort to navigate the deeply inequitable and gated system of professional golf — an effort that ultimately turned inward and helped me evolve as both a golfer and a person.

One perspective that helped me make sense of this inner dissonance around competition and our culture’s tendency to overvalue winning is the idea of soul evolution.

The University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies has done extensive research on reincarnation, and Netflix’s Surviving Death (Episode 6) explores the topic, too. Whether you take it literally or metaphorically, the idea that we’re on a long arc of growth — from beginner to sage elder — offers a profound perspective.

If you accept the premise literally, then terms like “young soul” and “old soul” start to hold meaning. However, even if we set the word “soul” aside, it’s easy to see that different levels of life experience produce different worldviews.

Newer souls — or people in earlier stages of their development — may be curious and kind but still lack discernment or depth. There is a naivety, and they don’t yet question as deeply, tending to see things in black and white, partly because certainty feels safer than confronting the unknown.

As we gain more experience, we begin to experiment. We test limits. We chase extreme external goals — sometimes at the expense of health, relationships, or inner peace — still operating from hunger, ambition, and the fragility of the ego.

It’s a necessary stage, but often a turbulent and unfulfilling one.

David Duval fell off the map after reaching World No. 1. Bubba Watson had his own “Is this it?” moment with his caddie, Ted Scott, after winning the Masters.

In Aaron Rodgers: Enigma, reflecting on his 2011 Super Bowl win, Rodgers said:

“Now I’ve accomplished the only thing that I really, really wanted to do in my life. Now what? I was like, ‘Did I aim at the wrong thing? Did I spend too much time thinking about stuff that ultimately doesn’t give you true happiness?’”

Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

Eventually, though, something shifts.

We begin to see in shades of gray. Winning, dominating, accumulating—these pursuits lose their shine. The rewards feel more fleeting. Living in a constant state of fight-or-flight makes us feel alive, yes, but not happy and joyful.

Compassion begins to replace ambition. Love, presence, and gratitude become more fulfilling than status, profits, or trophies. We crave balance over burnout. Collaboration over competition. Meaning over metrics.

Interestingly, if we zoom out, we can apply this same model to nations and cultures. Countries, like people, have a collective “soul stage” made up of the individuals within them.

Take the United States, for example. I’d place it as a mid-level soul: highly competitive and deeply driven, but still learning emotional maturity. Still uncomfortable with nuance. Still believing that more is always better. Despite its global wins, the U.S. currently ranks just 23rd in happiness (as of 2025). You might liken it to a gifted teenager—bold, eager, and ambitious, but angsty and still figuring out how to live well and in balance. As much as a parent wants to protect their child, sometimes the child has to make their own mistakes to truly grow.

So when Scottie Scheffler wonders what the point of winning is, I don’t see someone losing strength.

I see someone evolving.

He’s beginning to look beyond the leaderboard. Beyond metrics of success that carry a lower vibration. And yet, in a poetic twist, Scheffler did go on to win The Open. But that only reinforces the point: even at the pinnacle, the question remains. And if more of us in the golf and sports world — and in U.S. culture at large — started asking similar questions, we might discover that the more meaningful trophy isn’t about accumulating or beating others at all costs.

It’s about awakening and evolving to something more than winning could ever promise.

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