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Opinion & Analysis

A GolfWRXer auditions for the Big Break

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I just wanted to start this article by thanking GolfWRX for allowing me to share my story of battling ulcerative colitis, and to the community of great members for taking the time to read it. It was a blast for me to write it, and I feel I am achieving one of my goals of raising awareness about the disease and just how difficult it can be on the people and their loved ones going through it.

To provide a bit more insight as to where I am now, I am feeling 100 percent. It was a long road to get there, mind you. After being told I would be in the hospital for three to five days, I was there for 14, home for two and then back to the hospital for another three.

I remember a lot about being in the hospital. The thing that I will take with me the most is the love and support of my family and friends. My loving wife (fiancée at the time) was the best. She would always be with me and just made me feel so good about it all, and always encouraged me to continue to get better and better. My brother came to visit me every single day; a 45-minute drive away and never missed a day. It meant the world to me to see him, and he made things easier for me. My mom and dad were there a lot too, and my friends all came to visit. It’s the people in your life that make the difference, and I think my team of people is the best!

I also remember my weight. Before getting so sick, I was about 170 pounds. A few days after my surgery I got on the scale and it said 123! I was in shock. I was so skinny it was scary. I am happy to say that I am now back to 165, and feel great about it.

As for my ostomy, I still have it. I am in a position to remove it and replace it with an internal “J-Pouch,” however I plan to keep my bag. For me, it has been easy to deal with, and I can easily handle it. I consider it my life-saver, and it truly has been. It allows me to golf, and live a very normal life, it is all good!

Now, as for golf, I was able to get in a very full 2012 season and it was a blast. I did a lot to prepare in the cold, wintery months here in Toronto and felt ready to go once 2012 started. My goal was to compete in about four or five events, but that changed when a big break came.

I saw the application online for The Golf Channel’s “Big Break” and I knew I had to apply. True, I was very rusty at the time, but I thought why not? What a story it would be right? I applied and kind of forgot about it, that is until the show got back to me asking me to come apply. The problem was the auditions were nowhere near me; Florida, North Carolina and Phoenix were the sites.

I am a die-hard Phoenix Coyotes fan, and it has been a dream of mine to go to Arizona. I really thought hard about it, and then my father-in-law offered to help out with the costs of the trip. He believed in me, and knew this was a great opportunity for me to live out two dreams: go to Phoenix and be on the Big Break. From there, I had to go for it, and I did! It was mid-March, and I was on my way, about to try to make it on the show.It was a dream come true just to be there, and a trip I won’t soon forget. I was very fortunate to be able to play TPC Scottsdale, as well as Troon North while out there, and both were incredible. Troon North truly blew me away. It was something else!

I remember very clearly my audition for the show. I arrived at the course very early, and figured I would warm up and hit some putts — really just soak the whole experience in. I remember hitting balls and watching the guy beside me. He was swinging so beautifully, so pure and it was something else to see. It reminded me a lot of my favorite player, Aaron Baddeley. Turns out that it was Ray Beaufils, who, of course, qualified for the show. When it was finally my turn to be interviewed, I was really nervous, but confident at the same time. I went over in my head a number of times the potential questions and of course what my answers were. I felt pretty good as the interview kept going. He then asked me about my surgery, and I could tell he had never heard of the disease. He seemed was very confused as I told him a little about the procedure and what happened. That threw me off a little, and I kind of froze over the last question or two.

When it was time to hit some balls, I did, but they were OK shots at best. My flaw of a little over-hooking shots showed up a bit, but it could have been worse. When I left the course, I was really kicking myself over the interview more than anything. I really wanted a chance to have a do over on the final few questions, and actually show him my ostomy bag. I knew he was clueless about it, I should have just showed him. I was down, but decided to not let it ruin my trip. Later that week I got to live out a dream of seeing the Coyotes at home, and it was amazing. Thinking back to that night — wow —  so amazing! Of course, not totally like the atmosphere in Toronto or Montreal, but it was special nonetheless. And getting to meet Shane Doan and Mike Smith the day before at practice made it all the more special.

The only down side of the trip was the fact that I used up five of my vacation days at work, really limiting me in terms of days I could take for events. I knew that going in, but knew it was worth it! It was painful waiting to hear back from the show, and when I got the news I was not selected I was upset, but I totally understood. I think getting that “no” kept me motivated for 2012 to work hard on my game, and be more prepared for another shot if I decide to go for it.

As the season went on, it was just so great to be out playing. After missing so much time, the scores were a lot less important than the actual playing part. I started off playing respectably, but not up to my standards. I was hitting the ball well, but I was a bit shorter than I was used to, and was really struggling with my putter. That was until June, when I added a long putter. That putter served me well for the second half of the season, and I was able to shoot some pretty solid scores while in Florida in July. I was able to sneak in one event toward the end of the season, which was interesting to say the least.

I went up a few days before for a practice round and later found out that the Tour changed the event course! I really wish I had known that! So I arrived for the event going in cold, not ever seeing the course. But was just ready to have a good time and feel the nerves again of professional golf.

I vividly recall my warm-up session and just how good it was. I was flushing it, and honestly only missed one shot all warm-up. I was ready. Of course, what do I do on the first tee? Pull it left, lose the ball and make a six. It was weird; I honestly did not feel too nervous — I just really miss-aligned myself for fear of going right and over did it. As the round went on, I continued to struggle. I just kept telling myself have fun, and remember this is just a prep for 2013. I got a bit discouraged on the back after a few three-putts and left the course sour about how poor I played. But I was still excited to be back in professional golf, and looking forward to 2013.

Once again, thank you all so much for the read. It has been a lot of fun writing these entries and even more fun hearing all the well wishes from the community.

I am a very proud member of the PGA of Canada, and love all aspects of this great game. I had ulcerative colitis in 2010 and 2011, and had my colon removed in August of 2011. It was the best decision of my life. I am currently working hard on my game and career, and I love the opportunity to share my story with the GolfWRX community

1 Comment

1 Comment

  1. Brian Cass

    Jan 29, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    A great story. That’s inspirational!

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Opinion & Analysis

The 2 primary challenges golf equipment companies face

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As the editor-in-chief of this website and an observer of the GolfWRX forums and other online golf equipment discourse for over a decade, I’m pretty well attuned to the grunts and grumbles of a significant portion of the golf equipment purchasing spectrum. And before you accuse me of lording above all in some digital ivory tower, I’d like to offer that I worked at golf courses (public and private) for years prior to picking up my pen, so I’m well-versed in the non-degenerate golf equipment consumers out there. I touched (green)grass (retail)!

Complaints about the ills of and related to the OEMs usually follow some version of: Product cycles are too short for real innovation, tour equipment isn’t the same as retail (which is largely not true, by the way), too much is invested in marketing and not enough in R&D, top staffer X hasn’t even put the new driver in play, so it’s obviously not superior to the previous generation, prices are too high, and on and on.

Without digging into the merits of any of these claims, which I believe are mostly red herrings, I’d like to bring into view of our rangefinder what I believe to be the two primary difficulties golf equipment companies face.

One: As Terry Koehler, back when he was the CEO of Ben Hogan, told me at the time of the Ft Worth irons launch, if you can’t regularly hit the golf ball in a coin-sized area in the middle of the face, there’s not a ton that iron technology can do for you. Now, this is less true now with respect to irons than when he said it, and is less and less true by degrees as the clubs get larger (utilities, fairways, hybrids, drivers), but there remains a great deal of golf equipment truth in that statement. Think about it — which is to say, in TL;DR fashion, get lessons from a qualified instructor who will teach you about the fundamentals of repeatable impact and how the golf swing works, not just offer band-aid fixes. If you can’t repeatably deliver the golf club to the golf ball in something resembling the manner it was designed for, how can you expect to be getting the most out of the club — put another way, the maximum value from your investment?

Similarly, game improvement equipment can only improve your game if you game it. In other words, get fit for the clubs you ought to be playing rather than filling the bag with the ones you wish you could hit or used to be able to hit. Of course, don’t do this if you don’t care about performance and just want to hit a forged blade while playing off an 18 handicap. That’s absolutely fine. There were plenty of members in clubs back in the day playing Hogan Apex or Mizuno MP-32 irons who had no business doing so from a ballstriking standpoint, but they enjoyed their look, feel, and complementary qualities to their Gatsby hats and cashmere sweaters. Do what brings you a measure of joy in this maddening game.

Now, the second issue. This is not a plea for non-conforming equipment; rather, it is a statement of fact. USGA/R&A limits on every facet of golf equipment are detrimental to golf equipment manufacturers. Sure, you know this, but do you think about it as it applies to almost every element of equipment? A 500cc driver would be inherently more forgiving than a 460cc, as one with a COR measurement in excess of 0.83. 50-inch shafts. Box grooves. And on and on.

Would fewer regulations be objectively bad for the game? Would this erode its soul? Fortunately, that’s beside the point of this exercise, which is merely to point out the facts. The fact, in this case, is that equipment restrictions and regulations are the slaughterbench of an abundance of innovation in the golf equipment space. Is this for the best? Well, now I’ve asked the question twice and might as well give a partial response, I guess my answer to that would be, “It depends on what type of golf you’re playing and who you’re playing it with.”

For my part, I don’t mind embarrassing myself with vintage blades and persimmons chasing after the quasi-spiritual elevation of a well-struck shot, but that’s just me. Plenty of folks don’t give a damn if their grooves are conforming. Plenty of folks think the folks in Liberty Corner ought to add a prison to the museum for such offences. And those are just a few of the considerations for the amateur game — which doesn’t get inside the gallery ropes of the pro game…

Different strokes in the game of golf, in my humble opinion.

Anyway, I believe equipment company engineers are genuinely trying to build better equipment year over year. The marketing departments are trying to find ways to make this equipment appeal to the broadest segment of the golf market possible. All of this against (1) the backdrop of — at least for now — firm product cycles. And golfers who, with their ~15 average handicap (men), for the most part, are not striping the golf ball like Tiger in his prime and seem to have less and less time year over year to practice and improve. (2) Regulations that massively restrict what they’re able to do…

That’s the landscape as I see it and the real headwinds for golf equipment companies. No doubt, there’s more I haven’t considered, but I think the previous is a better — and better faith — point of departure when formulating any serious commentary on the golf equipment world than some of the more cynical and conspiratorial takes I hear.

Agree? Disagree? Think I’m worthy of an Adam Hadwin-esque security guard tackle? Let me know in the comments.

@golfoncbs The infamous Adam Hadwin tackle ? #golf #fyp #canada #pgatour #adamhadwin ? Ghibli-style nostalgic waltz – MaSssuguMusic

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Podcasts

Fore Love of Golf: Introducing a new club concept

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Episode #16 brings us Cliff McKinney. Cliff is the founder of Old Charlie Golf Club, a new club, and concept, to be built in the Florida panhandle. The model is quite interesting and aims to make great, private golf more affordable. We hope you enjoy the show!

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Opinion & Analysis

On Scottie Scheffler wondering ‘What’s the point of winning?’

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Last week, I came across a reel from BBC Sport on Instagram featuring Scottie Scheffler speaking to the media ahead of The Open at Royal Portrush. In it, he shared that he often wonders what the point is of wanting to win tournaments so badly — especially when he knows, deep down, that it doesn’t lead to a truly fulfilling life.

 

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“Is it great to be able to win tournaments and to accomplish the things I have in the game of golf? Yeah, it brings tears to my eyes just to think about it because I’ve literally worked my entire life to be good at this sport,” Scheffler said. “To have that kind of sense of accomplishment, I think, is a pretty cool feeling. To get to live out your dreams is very special, but at the end of the day, I’m not out here to inspire the next generation of golfers. I’m not out here to inspire someone to be the best player in the world, because what’s the point?”

Ironically — or perhaps perfectly — he went on to win the claret jug.

That question — what’s the point of winning? — cuts straight to the heart of the human journey.

As someone who’s spent over two decades in the trenches of professional golf, and in deep study of the mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of the game, I see Scottie’s inner conflict as a sign of soul evolution in motion.

I came to golf late. I wasn’t a junior standout or college All-American. At 27, I left a steady corporate job to see if I could be on the PGA Tour starting as a 14-handicap, average-length hitter. Over the years, my journey has been defined less by trophies and more by the relentless effort to navigate the deeply inequitable and gated system of professional golf — an effort that ultimately turned inward and helped me evolve as both a golfer and a person.

One perspective that helped me make sense of this inner dissonance around competition and our culture’s tendency to overvalue winning is the idea of soul evolution.

The University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies has done extensive research on reincarnation, and Netflix’s Surviving Death (Episode 6) explores the topic, too. Whether you take it literally or metaphorically, the idea that we’re on a long arc of growth — from beginner to sage elder — offers a profound perspective.

If you accept the premise literally, then terms like “young soul” and “old soul” start to hold meaning. However, even if we set the word “soul” aside, it’s easy to see that different levels of life experience produce different worldviews.

Newer souls — or people in earlier stages of their development — may be curious and kind but still lack discernment or depth. There is a naivety, and they don’t yet question as deeply, tending to see things in black and white, partly because certainty feels safer than confronting the unknown.

As we gain more experience, we begin to experiment. We test limits. We chase extreme external goals — sometimes at the expense of health, relationships, or inner peace — still operating from hunger, ambition, and the fragility of the ego.

It’s a necessary stage, but often a turbulent and unfulfilling one.

David Duval fell off the map after reaching World No. 1. Bubba Watson had his own “Is this it?” moment with his caddie, Ted Scott, after winning the Masters.

In Aaron Rodgers: Enigma, reflecting on his 2011 Super Bowl win, Rodgers said:

“Now I’ve accomplished the only thing that I really, really wanted to do in my life. Now what? I was like, ‘Did I aim at the wrong thing? Did I spend too much time thinking about stuff that ultimately doesn’t give you true happiness?’”

Jim Carrey once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

Eventually, though, something shifts.

We begin to see in shades of gray. Winning, dominating, accumulating—these pursuits lose their shine. The rewards feel more fleeting. Living in a constant state of fight-or-flight makes us feel alive, yes, but not happy and joyful.

Compassion begins to replace ambition. Love, presence, and gratitude become more fulfilling than status, profits, or trophies. We crave balance over burnout. Collaboration over competition. Meaning over metrics.

Interestingly, if we zoom out, we can apply this same model to nations and cultures. Countries, like people, have a collective “soul stage” made up of the individuals within them.

Take the United States, for example. I’d place it as a mid-level soul: highly competitive and deeply driven, but still learning emotional maturity. Still uncomfortable with nuance. Still believing that more is always better. Despite its global wins, the U.S. currently ranks just 23rd in happiness (as of 2025). You might liken it to a gifted teenager—bold, eager, and ambitious, but angsty and still figuring out how to live well and in balance. As much as a parent wants to protect their child, sometimes the child has to make their own mistakes to truly grow.

So when Scottie Scheffler wonders what the point of winning is, I don’t see someone losing strength.

I see someone evolving.

He’s beginning to look beyond the leaderboard. Beyond metrics of success that carry a lower vibration. And yet, in a poetic twist, Scheffler did go on to win The Open. But that only reinforces the point: even at the pinnacle, the question remains. And if more of us in the golf and sports world — and in U.S. culture at large — started asking similar questions, we might discover that the more meaningful trophy isn’t about accumulating or beating others at all costs.

It’s about awakening and evolving to something more than winning could ever promise.

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