Opinion & Analysis
The struggles of balancing golf and family
Golf is not only about making the shots, or making the putts. No, before that, golf is about making the time, especially if you have a family.
“If I never played golf,” Dave told me between nines at Goose Creek, “my wife would probably be happier. Would definitely be happier. But I wouldn’t be.”
Few of us live in a bubble. “I don’t waste time when I golf,” 32-year old Flavio said at Mountain Meadows. “I play early. I play fast. I don’t hang around and drink after the round. And I don’t say anything at all when my wife goes out on Wednesday night for her yoga class.”
If you tee off at 8 in the morning on a Saturday, you probably left the house at 7 and won’t return before 1 pm, at the earliest. And that’s if everything is on time. “I’m going to ref my daughter’s AYSO game at 3 this afternoon,” Riley told me matter-of-factly on the 13th hole, checking his watch.
“They’re at church this morning,” Darrin, a mid-thirties low double-digit said one Sunday morning on an LA County course. “I’ll be home before they are.” He teed off just after daylight after getting out of bed at 4:30. That’s 4:30 A.M. “I set my clothes out last night and I brushed my teeth and shaved in the guest room, and I’m quiet so I don’t wake anybody up.”
Not everyone has to pay attention to the time during the round. “I’m gonna take a nap this afternoon after I get home,” Scott said. “My fiancé is away this weekend.”
“You’re not gonna do a replay?” His brother-in-law-to-be Patrick asked, “Dude, what’s up with you?”
“I will if you will,” Scott answered.
“No man, I got the honey-do list later,” Patrick said longingly.
Some golfers carve out time from their family obligations; some are able instead to carve out time from their jobs during the week.
“I had a breakfast meeting early today and spent the rest of the morning in the office.” Efron is in sales and apparently he’s doing well since he was playing a pricey course on a Thursday afternoon with one of his friends. “I’ll be home by 6 tonight just like usual. My wife knows where I am, and my boss just cares about my numbers.”
“Two days a week I don’t go in until 1,” Dale told me after finishing 18 one Tuesday morning at Jurupa Hills. “I live right over there,” he said pointing. “I dropped my girl off at school at 7:15, my wife is at work, so I just need to leave the course no later than twenty-after-twelve.”
For some golfers, time is relative. Kent was hanging out on the clubhouse patio reading a golf magazine at 11:30 one weekend morning. “I got done early. We played in under four hours,” he said. “Can’t go home yet, don’t want my wife to expect me home this early every weekend. I’ll stay here until noon because that’s what time we’re usually done.”
When the kids are very young and they spend their days sleeping or crawling or watching videos, time isn’t as important. “I’m not hurrying so I can get home to my girls,” Kevin told me at Strawberry Farms. “They’re with my mother-in-law, and my wife is out hiking with her friends this morning so there’s no rush.”
But when the children are involved in extra-curricular activities like sports or dance, tutor sessions or music lessons, and parental support is measured by attendance even more than monetary donations, that’s when the time it takes for a round of golf can lob a wedge into family relations.
“I quit playing golf from the time my oldest was five until my youngest was 13,” Harry, now a doting grandfather, told me. “And that’s why I never got to single digits…no, really, it was worth it to watch the kids grow up. My wife tells me that, anyway.”
It’s all about the choices we make, and the priorities we set.
“I’m not ever going to play golf for my living,” Jared told me, “so I play when it’s convenient, and I don’t play when it isn’t. That said, I’d play more often if I had the time, and my wife knows I’m in a better mood all week when I play.”
There were eight guys in two foursomes in front of me on the Babe at Industry Hills a few weeks ago. They told me they’d known each other since middle-school, almost 30 years ago. “We used to go out drinking, or drinking and eating at least one night a month,” said Lee. “Now once a month we play golf together on a Sunday morning. The girls think that’s better even though we probably spend more money than before.”
“And we drink just as much,” his companion Jay added.
“I play back nines early on the weekends,” Kelly told me as he finished his day on the links before 9 on a Saturday. “I’m home before the kids are done watching cartoons.” That’s one way to satisfy the golfing Jones.
“The club has childcare so while I’m playing, my wife leaves our son in ‘Kids Court’ and she does what she wants for a few hours. Then she picks him up and we rendezvous for lunch in the grill room.” With a slight wave of his hand to the private club bag-boy taking his sticks back to storage, Jake reminds me there is more than one way for lucky young men to take to the tees.
Then there is the future to look forward to.
“It’s hard now with three kids under 10,” Lawrence said. “But the two older ones are taking lessons, and we play the par-3 course together some. In a few years maybe I’ll have my own family foursome.”
It’s clear that balancing the time that golf takes with the demands of raising a family can be difficult., at least at some ages. But one morning at Hidden Valley, Edward laid out his blueprint for the years ahead: “My wife loves golf, too,” he said. “Someday when the kids are grown and out of the house, she and I will be playing together every weekend.”
Tell us how you balance golf and family in the comments section below. And check out Tom Hill’s humorous golf book, A Perfect Lie – The Hole Truth at 7-ironpress.com – use the coupon code GOLFWRX for free shipping of the paperback.
Opinion & Analysis
Brandel Chamblee PGA Championship Q&A: Rose’s huge McLaren risk, distracted LIV pros and why Aronimink suits the bombers
PGA Championship week is here, and Brandel Chamblee did not hold back in our latest discussion ahead of the season’s second major.
In our 2026 PGA Championship Q&A, golf’s leading analyst made the case that PIF pulling LIV’s funding has left its players competing in a state of confusion, called Justin Rose’s mid-season equipment switch a huge risk at 45, and explained why Aronimink will be a bombers’ delight this week.
Check out the full Q&A below.
Gianni: With the PIF confirming that they’re pulling funding from LIV at the end of the season, what impact do you expect that to have on the LIV players competing at the PGA Championship?
Brandel: I would imagine that they have all been thrown into a state of confusion, and will be distracted, not knowing where they are going to play next year and not knowing exactly their road back to either the DP World Tour or the PGA Tour. Or in Rahm’s case, being tied to a sinking ship for the next few years, likely playing for pennies on the dollar in events that no one cares about or watches.
I doubt this would put him in the best frame of mind to compete at his highest level. Keeping in mind, however, that majors are the only time that LIV disciples get to play in events that matter, so never disregard the motivation they have to prove to the world they are still relevant.
Gianni: Justin Rose switched to McLaren Golf equipment mid-season while playing some of the best golf of his career. What do you make of the change?
Brandel: I don’t really know what to make of Rose switching equipment. It seems a huge risk on his part, even though it is likely, in my opinion, that the clubs he’s playing are similar, if not the exact grinds, to what he was playing previously, with a McLaren stamp on them.
Having said that, at best, it is a distraction when he seemed to be as dialed in with his game as any 45-year-old could be and trending in the majors to perhaps do something that would definitely put him in the Hall of Fame. At worst, given the possibility that these clubs aren’t just duplicates of his old set stamped with McLaren on them, he’s made an equipment change that would take time, and 45-year-old athletes don’t have the time to do such things.
Gianni: Aronimink has only hosted a handful of professional events since it hosted the 1962 PGA Championship. What kind of test does it present, and does a course with less recent major championship history tend to level the playing field?
Brandel: Even though Aronimink has only hosted a handful of meaningful professional events, it has been fairly discerning in who can win there. When Keegan Bradley won the BMW Championship on the Donald Ross masterpiece in 2018, he was the 2nd best iron player on tour coming into that week. When Nick Watney won the AT&T at Aronimink in 2011, he was 2nd in strokes gained total coming into the week.
In 2020, Aronimink hosted the KPMG Championship, and Sei Young Kim won. On the LPGA that year, she was first in greens in regulation, putts per green in regulation, and scoring average on the way to being the LPGA player of the year. And then there is the 1962 PGA Championship won by Gary Player, who eventually became just one of a few players to win the career grand slam on the way to winning 9 majors. It is a formidable test, and if it’s not softened by rain, it will bring out the best in the upper echelons of the game.
Gianni: Is there a specific hole at Aronimink that you think will do the most to decide the winner?
Brandel: The hardest hole at Aronimink in each of the three tour events that have been played there since 2010 has been the long par-3 8th hole, with the par-4 10th being the second hardest, so most of the carnage will happen around the turn, but with the par-5 16th offering opportunities for bold plays and the tough closing holes at 17 and 18, the finish is likely to be frenetic.
Gianni: The PGA Championship has always sat in the shadow of the other majors. What does the ideal PGA Championship look like in your eyes, and what would it take for it to carve out its own identity?
Brandel: The PGA Championship, to whatever degree it suffers from the comparison to the other three majors, is still counted just as much when adding them up at the end of one’s career. Almost 1/3 of Nicklaus’ major wins were the five PGA Championships he won. Walter Hagen won 11 majors, five of which were PGA Championships.
Tiger Woods twice in his career won back-to-back PGA Championships, and those four majors count just as much as the other 11 he won. The PGA may not have the prestige of the other three, but it carries the same weight. Having said that, I preferred the identity that it had as the last major of the year.
Gianni: You nailed your Masters picks. Rory won, Scottie finished solo second, and Morikawa surged to a tie for seventh. Who are your top 3 picks for the PGA Championship and why?
Brandel: I am not a huge fan of majors played on golf courses that have been shorn of most of the trees, although I understand some of the agronomic reasons for doing so and of course the ease with which it allows members to play after errant drives. However, at the highest level, it all but eliminates any strategy off the tee and turns professional golf into an even bigger slugfest. That means that it will likely be a bomber’s delight this week, but fortunately, Scottie Scheffler is long enough to play that game and straight enough to play it better than anyone else.
The major championships give us very few surprises anymore, going back to the beginning of 2012, so the last 57 majors played, the average world rank of the winners has been better than 15th in the world. So look at the highest ranked and longest drivers who are on form coming into the PGA Championship who also have great short games as the surrounds at Aronimink are very challenging. That’s Scottie Scheffler by a mile and then McIlroy and Cameron Young with a far bigger nod towards DeChambeau than I gave him at the Masters.
In this episode of the Club Junkie Podcast, we dive into one of the most interesting flatstick releases of the year with a full review of the new TaylorMade SYSTM 2 putters. After spending time on the greens, I break down what makes this design stand out, where it performs, and why it has me completely torn between loving it and fighting it. If you are into feel, alignment, and consistency, this is one you will want to hear about.
We also take a look at some of the putters in play on the PGA Tour last week. From familiar favorites to a few surprising setups, there is always something to learn from what the best players in the world are rolling with under pressure.
To wrap things up, I walk through the process of building a set of JP Golf Prime irons paired with Baddazz Gold Series shafts. From component selection to performance goals, this is a deep dive into what goes into creating a unique custom set and why this combo has been so intriguing.
This year my 50th birthday. Gosh, where has the time gone?
As a teenager in rural Missouri, some of my junior high and high school years felt interminable. Graduation seemed light years away. But the older I get, the faster life seems to fly by.
I’m also increasingly aware of my mortality. My dad died recently. Earlier this year, a friend and fellow PGA of America professional and I were texting about our next catch-up. The next message I received was news of his unexpected passing at 48. Shortly after, a woman I dated in college succumbed to cancer at 51.
Certainly, one can share perspective at any age. Seniors help freshmen, veterans guide rookies. But reaching this milestone feels like as good a time as any to do one of those “what would I tell my younger self?” articles.
I’ve had a uniquely varied career in golf. I started as a 27-year-old, average-length-hitting, 14-handicap computer engineer and somehow managed to turn pro before running out of money, constantly bootstrapping my way forward. I’ve won qualifiers and set venue records in the World Long Drive Championships, finished fifth at the Speedgolf World Championships, coached all skill levels as a PGA of America professional, built industry-leading swing speed training programs for Swing Man Golf, helped advance the single-length iron market with Sterling Irons®, caddied on the PGA TOUR and PGA TOUR Champions, and played about 300 courses across 32 countries.
It’s been a ride, and I’ve gone both deep and wide.
So while I can consult and advise from a lot of angles, let me keep it to a few things I’d tell the average golfer who wants to improve.
1. Think About What You Want
Everyone has their own reason for picking up a golf club.
Oddly, as a professional athlete, I’m not internally driven by competition. That can be challenging, as the industry currently prioritizes and incentivizes competition over the love of the game.
For me, I love walking and being outdoors. Nature helps balance my energy. I prefer courses that are integrated into the natural beauty of their surroundings. I’m comfortable practicing alone. I’m a deep thinker, and I genuinely enjoy investigating the game, using data and intuition to unearth unique, often innovative insights. I’m fortunate to be strong and athletic, so I appreciate the chance to engage with my abilities. Traveling feels adventurous. I could go on.
You don’t have to overthink it like I do. For you, it might be as simple as hitting balls to escape work, hanging out with friends, and playing loosely with the rules and the score.
The point is to give yourself permission to play for your own reasons, and let that be enough.
But if improvement is your goal, thinking about your destination—and when you want to get there—is important, because it dictates the steps you need to take. When I set out to go from a 14-handicap to the PGA TOUR as quickly as possible, the steps I needed were very different from those of a working golfer trying to break 90 in six months. That’s also different from someone who just wants a few peaceful hours outside each week, away from work or family.
None of these goals are better than the others, but each requires a different plan that you can work backward from.
2. There Are Lots of Things That Can Work
One of the challenges of golf is that, although there are rules for playing, there aren’t clear, industry-wide standards for how to best play the game. There’s a lot of gray area.
You might hear a top coach or trainer insist that a certain move is the best way to swing or train. Then you dig a bit deeper and, much to your confusion and frustration, another respected coach or trainer says something completely different. I don’t think anyone is trying to confuse you—at least I hope not. It’s just where the industry is right now.
You have to be careful with advice from tournament pros, too. They might be great at scoring, but they’re also human and sometimes just as susceptible as amateurs to believing things that don’t really move the needle. Tour players might describe what they feel, but that’s not always what they’re actually doing when assessed with technology.
I recently ran a test on my YouTube channel (which connects to my GolfWRX article “How to use your hands in the golf swing for power and accuracy”), and, interestingly, two of the most commonly taught hand actions produced the worst results in the test.
Coaches can certainly help. If you find someone you connect with to help navigate, that’s great. But there are many ways to get the ball in the hole. In the current landscape, you may need to seek multiple opinions, think critically, and use your own intuition to discern what seems true and whose advice resonates with you.
I’d recommend seeking someone who is open-minded and always learning, because things constantly change. Absolutes like “correct” or “proper” should raise a red flag. AI can be useful, but it tends to confidently repeat popular advice, so proceed with caution.
3. Get Custom Fit
If you’re serious about becoming a better player, getting custom fit is hugely important. There’s no sense fighting your equipment if you don’t have to. Most better players get fit these days and, if they don’t, they’re usually skilled enough to work around clubs that aren’t ideal.
If you plan to play for a long time, it’s worth spending a little more upfront to get something that truly fits you and your game, rather than continually buying and discarding equipment.
Equipment rules haven’t really changed significantly since the early 2000s. To stay in business, manufacturers keep pushing those limits. If you pull a bunch of clubs and balls off the rack and test them, you’ll find differences. I’ve tested two new drivers and seen a 30-yard total distance gap. Usually, the issue isn’t bad equipment; it’s that the combination of components simply isn’t the best fit.
It’s like wearing a new pair of floppy clown shoes. Sure, they’re shoes—but you won’t sprint your best in them compared to track shoes that fit perfectly.
Be wary of what’s called custom fitting, too. Sometimes the term is used as a marketing strategy rather than an actual fitting. In some retail settings, fitters may be incentivized to steer you toward higher-priced components. That doesn’t automatically mean it’s not the best fit, but you should be aware of potential biases.
I learned a version of this lesson outside of golf. Years ago, I bought a tennis racquet at a big box store from a seemingly knowledgeable employee who thought it would suit me best. The racquet gave me tennis elbow, and I spent months recovering with rest and acupuncture. The next season, I invested more time and money to find what actually fit me, and I walked away with something amazing that I still play with years later.
So if you’re going to get fit, be smart about it.
Find someone you believe has deep knowledge—possibly with certifications, but not necessarily. Make sure there’s a wide inventory across many brands. Check recent reviews for the individual fitter if possible. Make sure you trust that the fitter has your best interests at heart. If they’re wearing a hat or shirt with a specific brand’s logo, proceed with caution. Unless you specifically want a certain brand or look, be wary of upsells, especially if two options perform nearly the same.
Also, while golf is called a sport of integrity, there’s a thread of manipulation in the industry. I once drafted an equipment article for an industry magazine, structured just like one of their previous popular stories, with matching word count and great photos. The assistant editor loved it; it was useful to readers and required little work on his part. But the editor-in-chief nixed the story. When I asked why, I was told it was because I wasn’t an advertiser. It turned out the article I’d modeled mine after was a paid ad cleverly disguised as editorial content.
I really dislike games, clickbait, and fear-based manipulation. I hope this changes, but golfers deserve to know it exists.
4. Distance and Strategy Matter
There’s a real relationship between how far you hit the ball and your scoring average, even at the PGA TOUR level.
I experienced this early in my pro career. I started as a power hitter, swinging in the high 120s and breaking 200 mph ball speed with a stock driver.
Back then, some instructors advised swinging at 80%, so I tried slowing down for more accuracy. That worked fine on shorter, tighter courses. But on longer setups, I was coming into greens with too much club, and par 5s stopped being
RBC Heritage Tour Report: More minis, course-specific setups, Spider & GTS launches
Justin Rose WITB 2026 (April): Full WITB breakdown with new McLaren irons
Best fairway woods of 2026: The most versatile fairway woods + the most forgiving fairway woods
What’s the story behind Webb Simpson’s custom-stamped irons?
Cadillac Championship Tour Report: Spieth’s sizable changes, McLaren Golf launches, and more
The 24 players who can win the Masters
Rory McIlroy’s winning WITB: 2026 Masters
Kristoffer Reitan’s winning WITB: 2026 Truist Championship
J.J. Spaun’s winning WITB: 2026 Valero Texas Open
Cameron Young’s winning WITB: 2026 Cadillac Championship
Alex Fitzpatrick WITB 2026 (May)
Driver: Ping G440 LST (9 degrees) Shaft: Fujikura Ventus Black 6 X 3-wood: TaylorMade Qi4D (15 degrees) Shaft: Fujikura Ventus...
Kristoffer Reitan’s winning WITB: 2026 Truist Championship
Driver: Ping G440 Max (9 degrees) Shaft: Mitsubishi Tensei 1K White 60 TX 3-wood: Ping G440 Max (15 degrees) Shaft:...
WITB Time Machine: Rory McIlroy’s winning WITB, 2021 Truist Championship
Rory McIlroy’s victory at the 2021 Wells Fargo Championship 2021 (now the Truist Championship) marked a significant return to form,...
Collin Morikawa WITB 2026 (May)
Driver: TaylorMade Qi4D LS (8 degrees) Shaft: Mitsubishi Diamana D+ Limited 60 TX 3-wood: TaylorMade SIM Tour (14 degrees) Shaft:...
-
Equipment2 weeks agoJustin Rose WITB 2026 (April): Full WITB breakdown with new McLaren irons
-
Equipment1 week agoWhat’s the story behind Webb Simpson’s custom-stamped irons?
-
Equipment2 weeks agoCadillac Championship Tour Report: Spieth’s sizable changes, McLaren Golf launches, and more
-
Whats in the Bag3 days ago
Kristoffer Reitan’s winning WITB: 2026 Truist Championship
-
Whats in the Bag1 week agoCameron Young’s winning WITB: 2026 Cadillac Championship
-
Whats in the Bag3 weeks agoNelly Korda WITB 2026 (April)
-
Equipment2 weeks agoJustin Rose on the switch to McLaren Golf, learnings from previous equipment moves
-
Tour Photo Galleries2 weeks agoPhotos from the 2026 Cadillac Championship
Mike L
Apr 17, 2015 at 3:01 pm
So much of it is having the right spouse. If knew before you even meet your wife (26 for me) you were going to be an early morning, once a week golfer (even after the kids came along) and found someone who understands, your life will be much easier. If you were part of a couple that did nothing apart from when you first started dating, those spouses will never understand. You also need to have the energy when you get home from golf and home from work during the week to make time to do things with your wife and kids to let them know you care. You need to be balance and fair with everyone in your family and make sure golf is your only me time and giving your spouse some too. Also, after a good round, stop off and buy your wife some flowers, so everybody’s happy when you get home.
Rich
Apr 21, 2015 at 7:39 pm
Great point. My wife and I have been together for nearly 14 years (married for near 7) and she knows that I play once a week at least. My private golf club costs us around $3500 a year as well (in Australia) so if I’m not playing she tells me to go out and play because if I don’t it’s a waste of money. Sometimes I get a hit in afternoon after work as well. She is very understanding of my golf addiction.
Carlos Danger
Apr 17, 2015 at 2:23 pm
A few suggestions to you 20 something golf fanatics out there looking down the barrel of an inevitable engagement and family.
1. Marry a girl who’s father played golf. She is used to dad playing golf on the weekend and it wont be a foreign concept to her.
2. Join a country club (easier said than done). If golf is that important to you and you have some disposable income, go and check out the local CC’s and see what types of junior membership deals they have. You may be surprised by the affordability if you factor in what you currently pay for public golf and the hours it takes to play public courses, the activities your wife and kids can enjoy like pool, workout, tennis, etc…that may cancel out other membership costs you have, and the social aspect of it. If you dont have kids yet start looking into it now. The younger the better.
3. Never ever ever ever complain or discourage your wife for going out with her friends, going to the spa, going out of town, etc… you need to encourage it. Once you get in your 30s you will realize that going to the local watering hole with a couple of your buddies so you can have the same fantasy baseball arguments over and over is not really that important if it jeopardizes your chances of playing golf that weekend.
4. Dont plan your tee times and then plan your weekend spent with the family. Plan the weekend with the family first and then find a window where you could sneak out. Then ask your wife opposed to telling her your going out on “Sunday when the kids are napping.”
5. Get your family involved. I get my wife involved in little couples things at the club, get her to the pool all the time, get my son in swimming lessons, bring him out on the course with me at night, etc…basically, dont make a membership seem like “your thing”
6. Get a sales job so you can play at least twice a month during the week.
Dave S
Apr 16, 2015 at 10:00 am
Why do you insist on putting a space in front of punctuation marks? How can anyone take a comment seriously that’s so thoroughly riddled with grammatical errors?
marty
Apr 17, 2015 at 12:44 pm
Wtf. ?
Phat
Apr 15, 2015 at 5:08 pm
I stopped playing entirely for my firstborn. The relationship I was in dissolved after a couple of years, so decided to focus every weekend on being 100% present with my daughter. Started playing again before my youngest came along (1 & 1/2 yrs now), so golf ground to a halt again. As a couple, my partner and I realised that we do actually become better people when we each ‘choose a poison’ and schedule regular time out. I’ve picked golf (what else haha) so hoping this will be a regular dawn chorus 9 or 18 once a week, weather dependent, as well as an online subscription to follow pga and lpga. All you guys out there that don’t see the importance of being there for your kids, preferring to maintain a single digit cap, need to get your heads read, haha.
Lou
Apr 15, 2015 at 11:32 am
Tom. You obviously have no clue and sound like an awful father and role model. Would hate to be raised and ignored by you . Stick to your day job as you mucked this one up
Lou's Dad
Apr 15, 2015 at 12:37 pm
Lou, I’m sorry I neglected you when you were a boy. Please don’t take it out on Tom.
Xavier
Apr 15, 2015 at 11:10 am
I have a one year old and since our little man was three months old I have been taking him out on the course. Either I strap his car seat to the cart or push him in the stroller and walk nine. Since he’s beem walking I let him walk around the greens while I putt. He loves being out on the course and luckily enough rarely throws a fit! I bring plenty of snacks and stuffed friends to keep him busy. I have had lots of fellow golfers and course staff compliment us when we’re out on the course. The best part is I get to spend quality time with my little man and it keeps the wife happy as well. As a result my son loves bringing his club hitting balls in the backyard and in the house… Who says you can’t balance family and golf?
Craig
Apr 15, 2015 at 11:21 am
That is messed up man .. 3 months old strapped in a golf cart . Shame on u
other paul
Apr 15, 2015 at 6:57 pm
My son played his first hole of golf last October when it was a nice warm evening. Manager let us do a hole if we hit a bucket at the range. He was 2 1/2. We had a blast. He shot 14 from the ladies tee. Little guy even 2 putted. Shot 14 from the ladies tee 280 yards. Looking forward to our first round next week. Or may e tomorrow if it warms up enough.
TR1PTIK
Apr 15, 2015 at 9:41 am
I’m currently playing in a 9-hole league with several co-workers. Every Monday my wife and I switch duties – I drop our daughter off at daycare so my wife can get to work a little earlier and then she’ll pick our daughter up. I usually wind up having to make up 2-3 hours/week for work because of when our tee times are set, but I’m always home before my wife and daughter get back from the gym. We make it work. When I have the money to do it (I donate plasma twice a week to pay for my golf), I also play on Friday or Saturday mornings – as early as I can. I usually play by myself and walk. Unless there’s someone in front of me holding up play, I can usually do 18 in about 2.5 – 3 hours when I’m scoring well. A bad round might add upwards of 30 minutes – looking for golf balls, making additional strokes that I wouldn’t have to during a better round, etc. I never complain when my wife wants to go to the gym, do a yoga class, or treat herself to a massage. She still isn’t crazy about golf, but she gets it and we don’t have any problems. And my kid is ALWAYS a priority.
Really?
Apr 15, 2015 at 9:38 am
Just tell her that you’re playing golf. I don’t see what’s so difficult about it.
GolfWarrior44
Apr 15, 2015 at 8:18 am
It’s been a cultural change since I grew up in the 90’s among 3 main factors. 1st, back then dads had the freedom to play in basketball, softball, bowling, and golf leagues multiple nights a week and in tournaments on weekends and wives never cared. Nowadays, wives expect the husbands to be home while they go to a yoga class or spin class. 2nd, the fact that most kids started youth sports in 1st and 2nd grade back then and nowadays it’s pre-school only adds to the time parents have to commit to other activities. And 3rd, the 9-5 workday is long gone. It’s now expected for most workers to work 8-5 (they give you an hour lunch knowing you’ll not take all of it and eat at your desk). Add to that the fact that urban sprawl has made most livable school districts in the suburbs most adults are gone from 7 am to 6 pm everyday during the week for essentially an 11-hour workday. Hard to imagine how anybody has time to golf but I know I’ll always strive to find a way!
Jason
Apr 14, 2015 at 11:02 pm
Here’s how to do it: I have six kids under the age of 11, and bring three at a time with me at twilight to play 6 or 9 holes after the final groups have teed off. It’s heaven. They pile in the cart with me, and they love it . . . and I get MORE practice in than I would playing 18 holes in 4.5 hours with golf buddies, because I’m not spending 3.5 hours waiting around for others to hit. Instead, I’m playing several balls on each hole. Meanwhile, if the kids aren’t hitting balls from the red tees, they’re chasing rabbits, rolling down the hills, fetching balls out of the lakes (or beating me at putting contests). As long as you tee off last and you’re not holding anyone up, you can take your time, and still be back home in a few hours. They kids get fresh air, exercise, and bonding time with dad. If you bring your little tribe with you, the wife will be glad to let you go . . . cuz if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!
JT
Apr 15, 2015 at 9:17 am
Thanks for sharing the blueprint! I’m engaged and soon to be married, and find my obligations require my free time to be more focused time, and like you mentioned, end up getting way more out of it. No kids today, or wife technically speaking, but I’ve already begun settling into the afternoon routine also.
kevin
Apr 14, 2015 at 7:45 pm
I have a 6 month old at home and have already decided not to renew my membership for the summer (Canadian East Coast winters are not conducive to year round play). I roll putts on carpet in the house while the little bounces in her Jolly Jumper before bed and I’ll hit balls off a mat into a net outdoors this summer. Though it won’t replace playing regularly, I hope to at least be able to get around a course the odd times I will play in corporate events or weekend rounds with family. I look forward to introducing my daughter to the game one day and hopefully we enjoy it as much together as I have with my dad over the years.
other paul
Apr 14, 2015 at 6:57 pm
I play at 6:00am most of the time. Or if I get rained out at work. But then I have to play in the rain… Played 9 holes 10 times last year in the wet. Shot 38 one time.
A
Apr 14, 2015 at 6:57 pm
“When the kids are very young and they spend their days sleeping or crawling or watching videos, time isn’t as important.”
-Absentee father rhetoric
You get out what you put in- just because children don’t acknowledge your presence, they are absorbing everything going around them and surely know if you’re around or not.
Tom Hill
Apr 14, 2015 at 7:53 pm
Granted A. But just as a parent must parent actively, a golfer must golf actively. I am only trying to point out the way some golfers balance the two. Enjoy both being a parent, and being a golfer.
A
Apr 15, 2015 at 2:10 am
Understand your point of view on this Tom.
I just don’t agree with the mindset of guys who bring a child into this world, refuse to mature and perhaps even *gasp* put the clubs away for a year or two to a) help Mama shoulder the load of responsibilities with child and around the house, and b) make a conscious effort to consistently be a part of their child’s life. Your words about the years when the child is sleeping, crawling, or watching videos as not important really struck a chord with me. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
To anyone reading this with a young baby or one on the way- trust me- you are not “missing out” on anything by cancelling your weekly tee time. If anything, you are gaining an amazing life experience that can never be replicated or recreated. As mentioned earlier- you reap what you sow with child rearing. How about instead of throwing on yet another Elmo video and heading to the club, you take them to the park and watch their face light up when you put them on the swings for the first time?
Rest assured- the golf course will always be there… your child won’t.
Dave S
Apr 15, 2015 at 9:19 am
It’s obviously a balancing act, which I think is what the author was trying to communicate. No where in this article does it recommend or glorify becoming an absentee father. At the same time, just because you have a child, doesn’t mean you have to give up something that you truly enjoy and that makes you happy.
JT
Apr 15, 2015 at 9:25 am
Well said Dave
JT
Apr 15, 2015 at 9:23 am
A.. Take a step off your high horse for a moment, this was a well written article and a nice change of pace for the site. Your point is valid that family is important, but other people’s views are worthy for consideration also. Don’t lose sight is the fact that a husband and father still needs to retain his own identity, and having a healthy active hobby (walking 9, or *gasp* 18) is a good thing for everyone!
Carlos Danger
Apr 17, 2015 at 2:35 pm
Isnt “A” being an absentee father wasting his time commenting on golf website message boards? Jeez man…get of your laptop and go pay attention to your kids!
Jordan
Apr 14, 2015 at 6:56 pm
This is a great article. I have a 3-month old son at home and have been trying to figure out how to keep playing. It’s hard to justify being away from home and my family for 6-7 hours on the weekend when my wife and I both spend so much time at work during the week. Playing early back nines was definitely on the radar. Getting up at 5am doesn’t sound that fun, but we do what we have to do to maintain some sort of golf form. Luckily, my father-in-law and all three brother-in-laws play so we try to get out at family gatherings around the holidays when we are somewhere warm.
Golfraven
Apr 14, 2015 at 4:52 pm
Yep, thats my golfing life at the moment. Playing only Sunday lunch time when Little one is sleeping in the car or I sneak out at 7am on weekends or sometime before the office. Haven’t played 18 holes for years now and only manage after work turnaments and driving range when honey jobs are done – well whey never get done as the list is endless. Looking forward when I can play golf with my son and will make him mu excuse to play more – currently he is my excuse not to play.
Jay
Apr 14, 2015 at 12:54 pm
Todd,
Not sure where you live but at Rancho Park in Los Angeles, playing the back nine early is very common. You shouldn’t feel weird asking about it. The only thing that would make it something they don’t allow is if the 10th hole is not close enough to the club house for you to tee off from there as easily as you would #1. You should call ahead of time to see if your course allows it but also to find out what the cut off time is each morning
Todd Ramsey
Apr 14, 2015 at 11:47 am
I really like the idea of playing back nines early. Does anyone have any suggestions about how to make this work at different clubs? I am not a member anywhere, and I don’t want to sound like a crazy person when I call. Thanks.
JT
Apr 15, 2015 at 9:27 am
Get to know the staff and ask if it’s OK when you arrive. Don’t call ahead to ask you’ll get a canned response.