Opinion & Analysis

You know you’re a golfer when…

Published

11 years ago

Jun 16, 2015

Tom HIll

You know you’re a golfer when…

You tell the restaurant hostess that you’ll be a foursome for dinner.
You think something “sub-par” must be really, really good.
You wonder what a billiard table stimps.
You call dimes ball markers.
You think the Dutch Masters must be a golf tournament.
You wear your golf shoes when you go for a walk.
You believe you could hit it over the centerfield scoreboard with an 8-iron.
You argue the family should vacation in Myrtle Beach.
You see a gopher hole in your backyard and immediately think of dynamite.
You mow your lawn to fairway height.
You’re distracted at a funeral, thinking what a nice golf course the cemetery would have made.
You understand why Michael Jackson only wore one glove.
You’re proud that the president plays golf.
You respect karma so much that you’d never order a fried egg for breakfast.
You think having a handicap is a good thing.
Your co-workers know you’re a single digit. Your boss thinks you’re a 20, but could be a 15 if you just had more time to practice.
Your favorite numbers are 2, 3, 4, 18 and 72.
You celebrate special occasions by playing 36 holes.
You believe that trees really are 90 percent air.
You know what the “leaf rule” is.
The dry cleaner returns two golf tees and a divot repair tool with your dress pants.
You won’t buy a Smart Car because there’s no room for your clubs.
You know that a “kick point” has nothing to do with UFC.
You can feel the difference between a two-club and a three-club wind.
You’re not embarrassed to discuss how your shaft feels.
You fall asleep counting strokes, not sheep.
Your wife doesn’t mind if you’re in a threesome.
You own more than five putters.
You can coordinate your golf shoes with your shirt color.
You sometimes walk around the house with your hands in an interlocking grip.
You spend your lunch hour on the practice green.
You know what a Cadet Medium-Large is.
You have both a golf course calendar and a golf course screen-saver.
You think Kelly Tilghman is hot.
You believe twilight starts at 2 p.m.
Your favorite websites are PGATOUR.com, GolfChannel.com and GolfWRX.com.
You know the Goose, the Hawk, the Bulldog, the Walrus, the Golden Bear, the Shark and Tiger have nothing to do with the animal kingdom.
Your favorite color is Masters green.
You know that standing on a 7 rather than hitting a soft 6 has as much to do with golf as blackjack.
You get up earlier on Saturday and Sunday than you do on weekdays.
You don’t think of having a caddie as owning a nice car.
The TV celebrity you’d most like to have lunch with is Michael Breed.
No matter what nationality you are, you have a soft spot in your heart for Scotland.
You start checking the weekend forecast on Tuesday.
Your left hand isn’t as tanned as your right and your feet look white compared to your legs.
You have a desk-job, but still have calluses on your hands.
You read a slight left-to-right break on the carpet as you walk down a long hotel corridor.
When someone mentions getting a new Toyota hybrid, you’re surprised because you didn’t even know Toyota made golf clubs.
You’re not upset about getting older because it means you’re closer to shooting your age.
At a cocktail party where you don’t know anyone, you gravitate to the guy whose face is most sunburned.
You can spell Srixon.
As you reach middle age, you say you’re starting the back nine.
You’re just superstitious enough to choose golf cart number 70 over number 85.
You schedule your elective surgery for December.
It doesn’t seem odd to drink your second beer at 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday.
You can’t believe you missed from 10 feet, and say “about time” when you make a 20-footer.
You tell your wife you really don’t mind too much if she wants to spend Saturday with her sister.
The only time you’re ever nervous is right before the opening tee shot.
You tend to think of tall grass as U.S. Open-style rough.
You believe you could cut your handicap in half if you just had more free time.
The only time you ever wear shorts in public is at a golf course.
Your bucket list includes trips to Fife, Bandon, Monterrey, Sheboygan and Farmingdale.
You remember every shot from your best round and none from your worst.
You know your career round is still in the future.

Editor’s Note: Check out the funny, inspirational story of one golfer trying to shoot the round of his life at 7-ironpress.com. Tom Hill’s book is called A Perfect Lie – The Hole Truth: 18 Holes of Golf in Pursuit of the Round of a Lifetime. Get free shipping on the paperback with the code GOLFWRX, or $4 off the e-book when you enter the code GOLFWRX1 at check-out. Pre-Father’s Day delivery in the US if ordered by June 17.

A special thanks to Alec, Garett and Bob Hill for edits and suggestions on “You know you’re a golfer when…”

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Tom HIll

Tom Hill is a 9.7 handicap, author and former radio reporter. Hill is the author of the recently released fiction novel, A Perfect Lie – The Hole Truth, a humorous golf saga of one player’s unexpected attempt to shoot a score he never before thought possible. Kirkus Reviews raved about A Perfect Lie, (It) “has the immediacy of a memoir…it’s no gimme but Hill nails it square.” (kirkusreviews.com). A Perfect Lie is available as an ebook or paperback through 7-ironpress.com and the first three chapters are available online to sample. Hill is a dedicated golfer who has played more than 2,000 rounds in the past 30 years and had a one-time personal best handicap of 5.5. As a freelance radio reporter, Hill covered more than 60 PGA and LPGA tournaments working for CBS Radio, ABC Radio, AP Audio, The Mutual Broadcasting System and individual radio stations around the country. “Few knew my name and no one saw my face,” he says, “but millions heard my voice.” Hill is the father of three sons and lives with his wife, Arava Talve, in southern California where he chases after a little white ball as often as he can.

24 Comments

Bigger Bite

Aug 27, 2015 at 12:38 am

Funny post, two thumbs up. As for the haters, seriously think you all missed the point of the article. It is not an Obama conference for votes…………

Reply Report comment
BOB

Jun 22, 2015 at 9:47 pm

You know that a “kick point” has nothing to do with UFC.

wut

Reply Report comment
janicewright

Jun 22, 2015 at 10:22 am

Even Michael Jordan said he would never play with the community organizer because his games stinks. Obama’s favorite 4 some, himself, Rev Wright, Bill Ayers and Al Sharpton. The company Barry keeps tells you everything you need to know about him. However, bringing in more and more illegals solves that problem. Just give them countless taxpayer benefits……..in exchange for their votes.

Reply Report comment
- birdeez
  
  Jun 24, 2015 at 12:40 pm
  
  beheading…….obama beheading to the golf course. no time for real issues. then again, him hitting shanks all afternoon on the course is better than him trying to force liberal policy down our throats.
  
  Reply Report comment
sheckygreen

Jun 22, 2015 at 9:58 am

Why put the community organizer’s picture on this article? The economy sucks, race relations are the worst of any modern presidency, our military has been feminized, illegal aliens have been bribed to come here with our taxpayer $ and vote for the communists\socialist\Islamic\democrat party. He is stealing the country from the white people that built it. And there stands Barry, thinking about his pathetic golf game. What an evil man!

Reply Report comment
devilsadvocate

Jun 20, 2015 at 10:01 pm

Some of you need to remove the stick from your shady area… Pretty amusing article… If u clicked shank then you are probably the guy nobody wants to play with… What did you expect from this article? Swing instruction? Equipment secrets? Inside information? C’mon the Damn title is a play on foxworthy… Glad my life brings me more pleasure than your miserable existence

Reply Report comment
- promoteroftruth
  
  Jun 21, 2015 at 11:35 am
  
  What makes you think we should pay you any attention ‘know-it-all mommy’?
  
  Reply Report comment
  - devilsadvocate
    
    Jun 21, 2015 at 6:55 pm
    
    Haha what a rebel
    
    Reply Report comment
Mark in L'ville, KY

Jun 18, 2015 at 9:53 am

Tom, I thought these were all very funny. Although it may be because WAY too many of them hit a little too close to home with me. Good list right along with so many of the “definitions of golf terms” lists we all have seen at one time or another. Well done.

P.S. I’m a registered Republican & I could not care less that Obama was mentioned &/or pictured in the list. Save the crazy & venom for a year from this November people & then take it to another forum.

Reply Report comment
AllBOdoesisgolf

Jun 17, 2015 at 2:16 pm

The “funny” part is that WRX does not allow politics of any kind…. hypocrisy much?

Reply Report comment
Bobtrumpet

Jun 17, 2015 at 12:49 pm

“You know what a Cadet Medium-Large is.”

Yeah, it’s my glove size! 🙂

Reply Report comment
Jake Anderson

Jun 17, 2015 at 12:03 pm

do you know this because you are a communist yourself, mr. so-called joeamerican? i would not think so, but please be frank.

Reply Report comment
Drew R.

Jun 17, 2015 at 11:54 am

When driving on a curvy tree-line highway, sometimes I imagine what shot shape I would take. In the gym, I don’t check myself in the mirror. I check my feet, hip and shoulder alignment before taking an imaginary swing. When shopping with my fiancee, i used a hanger to drill my putter stroke. I once caught myself wondering what was the bounce angle of serving spoon.

Reply Report comment
stu

Jun 17, 2015 at 7:17 am

Kelly Tilghman hot? Get some glasses.

Reply Report comment
- MartyMoose09
  
  Jun 17, 2015 at 1:35 pm
  
  If you like the weathered look.
  
  Reply Report comment
Dirk

Jun 16, 2015 at 10:12 pm

Good lord! Just a picture of Obama brings the Foxnews lunatics out of the woodwork! Sweet baby Jane you guys need to take a deep breath and relax!

Reply Report comment
- Tom Hill
  
  Jun 17, 2015 at 12:12 am
  
  Thanks Dirk – every US president since Jimmy Carter has played golf and that’s what I meant when I wrote “You know you’re a golfer when you’re proud that the President plays golf.” And in fact, that stanza actually somewhat implies that the golfer is not necessarily proud of the president (whoever is in office now), his actions, or even what he stands for, but we’re proud that the person holding the office of president (supposedly the most powerful person in the world) is a golfer, like we all are. I didn’t choose the image of President Obama that was put with the article, but don’t all of us recognize ourselves… killing time while lost in our shared passion… in what’s conveyed in that picture?
  
  Reply Report comment
mike

Jun 16, 2015 at 3:42 pm

I don’t know why so many people are giving this a shank I think this article is freaking hysterical and most golfers know that at least half of these applied to them and its true and funny but I don’t understand why all the people are not hitting like vs shank

Reply Report comment
- chris
  
  Jun 16, 2015 at 3:52 pm
  
  They probably hit “shank” because they don’t think it’s funny. At least that’s why I clicked it.
  
  Reply Report comment
  - ron
    
    Jun 17, 2015 at 10:34 am
    
    For me- It’s not so much “not funny”, but not really good points. Could have been better. Pretty sure there a forum thread on here on this with some good stuff in there.
    
    Reply Report comment
- Scott
  
  Jun 17, 2015 at 12:15 pm
  
  yep, this is a shank
  
  Reply Report comment
  - Mike
    
    Jun 21, 2015 at 6:16 pm
    
    Why shank. Golfers need to chill and check your ego at the door. What are the reasons f I r spanking this
    
    Reply Report comment
ITstan

Jun 16, 2015 at 2:10 pm

The destruction artist in that image makes me want to puke!

Reply Report comment
MartyMoose09

Jun 16, 2015 at 1:55 pm

Barry has a very weak grip, no wonder he’s never gotten better at golf.

Reply Report comment

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Opinion & Analysis

5 Things We Learned: Thursday at the PGA Championship

Published

2 weeks ago

May 15, 2026

Ronald Montesano

Aronimink is not a storied club, but when Donald Ross himself proclaimed it to be as good as he can design and build, one had to take notice. Jay Sigel was the pre-eminent male amateur golfer from the mid-1970s to the mid-1990s. He might have called any number of Philadelphia clubs home, but he chose Aronimink. It served him well. Gary Player won a PGA Championship here in 1962, and was followed by the 1993 winner … nobody. Aronimink gave that event away to Inverness, for reasons of which it is certainly not proud. So be it. We had to wait sixty-four years for the PGA to return to Newtown Square, but here we are. Aronimink has been neo-restored by Gil Hanse and team, to return Ross features with an eye toward defense against the dark arts, errrr, high-tech equipment.

Day one saw Rory McIlroy and Bryson DeChambeau dig big holes, to the tune of plus-four and plus-six, respectively. Since the first-round lead will be minus-three at worst, many shots will need to be made up for the power couple to reach contention. By nightfall, seven golfers held the day-one lead at three-under par 67. Shots and sticks caught our attention, and we are proud to present Five Things We Learned on Tech Thursday at the 2026 PGA Championship. Thanks to InsideTourGolfer, Today’s Golfer, and GolfWRX for initial equipment research.

First, meet Min Woo Lee

Min Woo Lee, aka Dr. Chipinski, has once again thrust himself into the conversation of Can he, will he, when will he? Lee has so much talent, wins not nearly as often as we believe that he should, and has no major near-misses (much less titles) on his wiki. The young Aussie is getting older and wiser, but is he able to avoid the scarring that holds the older and wiser back from breaking through? Philadelphia offers another opportunity. Min Woo signed for five birdies and two bogeys on day one, and grabbed a share of the opening-day lead at Aronimink. Winners transcend history and the moment, and Lee will need that sort of ascent to lift the Wannamaker on Sunday.

Second, meet Aldrich Potgeiter

The young South African golfer can rip driver with the best of them. Aronimink tips out at nearly 7400 yards, but beyond the fairway bunkers that ensnare only the mortals, Potgeiter can take his chances with wedge from the rough. On Thursday, he spent plenty of time in the spinach. Like Popeye, he used his muscles to gouge and thrash and dig his way out. Six birdies against three bogeys on the card brought AP in a three deep.

Third, meet Martin Kaymer

Not a major event takes place without a where’s he been throwback moment. We know that Martin Kaymer left the PGA and DP World tours for LIV golf, but the two-time (US Open and PGA) major winner has a lifetime exemption into at least one major event, and he seizes the opportunity each May. Kaymer joined the six-seven brigade with four birdies and a solitary bogey on day one. Kaymer was never a long hitter, and the years are kind to no golfer. The German champion will need to uncork every bottle of guile and strategy in his cabinet to remain in contention. For today, though, he occupies a rung on the ladder of Tour Tech.

Fourth, meet Scottie Scheffler

Let’s see, he’s the defending champion at the PGA, and he found his way back to the top tier with five birdies against two bogeys. To be a favorite and then play up to that stature and expectation is quite difficult. Just ask Rory, Bryson, and some of the other pre-tournament heartthrobs. Scheffler’s game is complete, and to knock him off the OWGR #1 pedestal, one needs to defeat him at the majors. Aronimink is the sort of course that fits Scheffler’s game. Better yet, it unfits the game of many of his challengers. Don’t expect Scheffler to go away anytime soon. Come Sunday, he’ll be around.

Fifth, meet Stephan Jaeger

Clocking in for the unheralded players shift are Ryo Hisatsune and Stephan Jaeger. Hisatsune logged seven birdies on day one, but gave most of them back with four bogeys. Still, he’s tied at the top for a time. Jaeger pitched five birdies against two bogeys, including a run of three consecutive, from holes four through six. Odds are that one of the two will hang around through 36 holes. Odds also suggest that both will be gone by Saturday evening. Still, the PGA Championship has historically been the major most likely to be won by an under-known. Both Hisatsune and Jaeger feature on that list, so good luck, lads!

Club Junkie

Club Junkie’s Titleist GTS driver fitting results!

Published

2 weeks ago

May 14, 2026

Brian Knudson

On this episode of the Club Junkie Podcast, I head to the Titleist Performance Institute for a full driver fitting with the new Titleist GTS lineup. We dive into the fitting process, talk about what made the biggest difference in performance, and break down how the different GTS heads and shaft combinations compare on the launch monitor. If you are thinking about a new driver setup for this season, there is a lot to take away from this one.

I also get into Brooks Koepka and the gear setup he brought to the PGA Championship, including the putters that caught my eye during the week. There are some interesting equipment trends showing up at the highest level right now and we break down what stands out.

To wrap things up, I talk about reshafting a few wedges, what I learned during the process, and swapping an adaptor onto a new shaft for another build project in the shop. A gear packed episode from start to finish for anyone who loves golf equipment and club building.

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Club Junkie

Club Junkie WITB, week 16: New Titleist GTS woods!

Published

2 weeks ago

May 14, 2026

Brian Knudson

Excited for this week’s WITB as we get to add the new Titleist GTS woods to the bag! I was fit at Titleist’s TPI facility in Oceanside California a few weeks ago and my new clubs just showed up. I am also adding a cool set of irons that I built last year some wild custom wedges into a new golf bag. Speaking of the bag I have a new Ghost Anyday Black Ops stand bag that I will be using on my Motocaddy Remote M7 electric cart.

Driver: Titleist GTS3 (11 degrees @ 10.25)
Shaft: Fujikura Ventus Red 6s

3-wood: Titleist GT1 3Tour (14.5 degrees)
Shaft: Graphite Design Tour AD CQ-7s

5-wood: Titleist GTS (18 degrees)
Shaft: Fujikura Ventus Red 7s

9-wood: Titleist GT1 (24 degress)
Shaft: Fujikura Ventus Red 7s

Irons: Bettinardi CB24 (5-PW)
Shafts: KBS C-Taper Lite 110 stiff

Wedge: TaylorMade MG5 (50-09 SB)
Shaft: Mitsubishi MMT 125 Stiff

Wedge: TaylorMade MG5 (56-12 SB)
Shaft: Mitsubishi MMT 125 Stiff

Wedge: TaylorMade MG5 (60-08 LB)
Shaft: Mitsubishi MMT 125 Stiff

Putter: Dan Carraher ZT Proto

Ball: Callaway Chrome Tour

Bag: Ghost Anyday Black Ops Stand Bag