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You know you’re a golfer when…

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You know you’re a golfer when…

  • You tell the restaurant hostess that you’ll be a foursome for dinner.
  • You think something “sub-par” must be really, really good.
  • You wonder what a billiard table stimps.
  • You call dimes ball markers.
  • You think the Dutch Masters must be a golf tournament.
  • You wear your golf shoes when you go for a walk.
  • You believe you could hit it over the centerfield scoreboard with an 8-iron.
  • You argue the family should vacation in Myrtle Beach.
  • You see a gopher hole in your backyard and immediately think of dynamite.
  • You mow your lawn to fairway height.
  • You’re distracted at a funeral, thinking what a nice golf course the cemetery would have made.
  • You understand why Michael Jackson only wore one glove.
  • You’re proud that the president plays golf.
  • You respect karma so much that you’d never order a fried egg for breakfast.
  • You think having a handicap is a good thing.
  • Your co-workers know you’re a single digit. Your boss thinks you’re a 20, but could be a 15 if you just had more time to practice.
  • Your favorite numbers are 2, 3, 4, 18 and 72.
  • You celebrate special occasions by playing 36 holes.
  • You believe that trees really are 90 percent air.
  • You know what the “leaf rule” is.
  • The dry cleaner returns two golf tees and a divot repair tool with your dress pants.
  • You won’t buy a Smart Car because there’s no room for your clubs.
  • You know that a “kick point” has nothing to do with UFC.
  • You can feel the difference between a two-club and a three-club wind.
  • You’re not embarrassed to discuss how your shaft feels.
  • You fall asleep counting strokes, not sheep.
  • Your wife doesn’t mind if you’re in a threesome.
  • You own more than five putters.
  • You can coordinate your golf shoes with your shirt color.
  • You sometimes walk around the house with your hands in an interlocking grip.
  • You spend your lunch hour on the practice green.
  • You know what a Cadet Medium-Large is.
  • You have both a golf course calendar and a golf course screen-saver.
  • You think Kelly Tilghman is hot.
  • You believe twilight starts at 2 p.m.
  • Your favorite websites are PGATOUR.com, GolfChannel.com and GolfWRX.com.
  • You know the Goose, the Hawk, the Bulldog, the Walrus, the Golden Bear, the Shark and Tiger have nothing to do with the animal kingdom.
  • Your favorite color is Masters green.
  • You know that standing on a 7 rather than hitting a soft 6 has as much to do with golf as blackjack.
  • You get up earlier on Saturday and Sunday than you do on weekdays.
  • You don’t think of having a caddie as owning a nice car.
  • The TV celebrity you’d most like to have lunch with is Michael Breed.
  • No matter what nationality you are, you have a soft spot in your heart for Scotland.
  • You start checking the weekend forecast on Tuesday.
  • Your left hand isn’t as tanned as your right and your feet look white compared to your legs.
  • You have a desk-job, but still have calluses on your hands.
  • You read a slight left-to-right break on the carpet as you walk down a long hotel corridor.
  • When someone mentions getting a new Toyota hybrid, you’re surprised because you didn’t even know Toyota made golf clubs.
  • You’re not upset about getting older because it means you’re closer to shooting your age.
  • At a cocktail party where you don’t know anyone, you gravitate to the guy whose face is most sunburned.
  • You can spell Srixon.
  • As you reach middle age, you say you’re starting the back nine.
  • You’re just superstitious enough to choose golf cart number 70 over number 85.
  • You schedule your elective surgery for December.
  • It doesn’t seem odd to drink your second beer at 10:30 a.m. on a Sunday.
  • You can’t believe you missed from 10 feet, and say “about time” when you make a 20-footer.
  • You tell your wife you really don’t mind too much if she wants to spend Saturday with her sister.
  • The only time you’re ever nervous is right before the opening tee shot.
  • You tend to think of tall grass as U.S. Open-style rough.
  • You believe you could cut your handicap in half if you just had more free time.
  • The only time you ever wear shorts in public is at a golf course.
  • Your bucket list includes trips to Fife, Bandon, Monterrey, Sheboygan and Farmingdale.
  • You remember every shot from your best round and none from your worst.
  • You know your career round is still in the future.

Editor’s Note: Check out the funny, inspirational story of one golfer trying to shoot the round of his life at 7-ironpress.com. Tom Hill’s book is called A Perfect Lie – The Hole Truth: 18 Holes of Golf in Pursuit of the Round of a Lifetime. Get free shipping on the paperback with the code GOLFWRX, or $4 off the e-book when you enter the code GOLFWRX1 at check-out. Pre-Father’s Day delivery in the US if ordered by June 17.

A special thanks to Alec, Garett and Bob Hill for edits and suggestions on “You know you’re a golfer when…”

Tom Hill is a 9.7 handicap, author and former radio reporter. Hill is the author of the recently released fiction novel, A Perfect Lie – The Hole Truth, a humorous golf saga of one player’s unexpected attempt to shoot a score he never before thought possible. Kirkus Reviews raved about A Perfect Lie, (It) “has the immediacy of a memoir…it’s no gimme but Hill nails it square.” (kirkusreviews.com). A Perfect Lie is available as an ebook or paperback through 7-ironpress.com and the first three chapters are available online to sample. Hill is a dedicated golfer who has played more than 2,000 rounds in the past 30 years and had a one-time personal best handicap of 5.5. As a freelance radio reporter, Hill covered more than 60 PGA and LPGA tournaments working for CBS Radio, ABC Radio, AP Audio, The Mutual Broadcasting System and individual radio stations around the country. “Few knew my name and no one saw my face,” he says, “but millions heard my voice.” Hill is the father of three sons and lives with his wife, Arava Talve, in southern California where he chases after a little white ball as often as he can.

24 Comments

24 Comments

  1. Bigger Bite

    Aug 27, 2015 at 12:38 am

    Funny post, two thumbs up. As for the haters, seriously think you all missed the point of the article. It is not an Obama conference for votes…………

  2. BOB

    Jun 22, 2015 at 9:47 pm

    You know that a “kick point” has nothing to do with UFC.

    wut

  3. janicewright

    Jun 22, 2015 at 10:22 am

    Even Michael Jordan said he would never play with the community organizer because his games stinks. Obama’s favorite 4 some, himself, Rev Wright, Bill Ayers and Al Sharpton. The company Barry keeps tells you everything you need to know about him. However, bringing in more and more illegals solves that problem. Just give them countless taxpayer benefits……..in exchange for their votes.

    • birdeez

      Jun 24, 2015 at 12:40 pm

      beheading…….obama beheading to the golf course. no time for real issues. then again, him hitting shanks all afternoon on the course is better than him trying to force liberal policy down our throats.

  4. sheckygreen

    Jun 22, 2015 at 9:58 am

    Why put the community organizer’s picture on this article? The economy sucks, race relations are the worst of any modern presidency, our military has been feminized, illegal aliens have been bribed to come here with our taxpayer $ and vote for the communists\socialist\Islamic\democrat party. He is stealing the country from the white people that built it. And there stands Barry, thinking about his pathetic golf game. What an evil man!

  5. devilsadvocate

    Jun 20, 2015 at 10:01 pm

    Some of you need to remove the stick from your shady area… Pretty amusing article… If u clicked shank then you are probably the guy nobody wants to play with… What did you expect from this article? Swing instruction? Equipment secrets? Inside information? C’mon the Damn title is a play on foxworthy… Glad my life brings me more pleasure than your miserable existence

    • promoteroftruth

      Jun 21, 2015 at 11:35 am

      What makes you think we should pay you any attention ‘know-it-all mommy’?

  6. Mark in L'ville, KY

    Jun 18, 2015 at 9:53 am

    Tom, I thought these were all very funny. Although it may be because WAY too many of them hit a little too close to home with me. Good list right along with so many of the “definitions of golf terms” lists we all have seen at one time or another. Well done.

    P.S. I’m a registered Republican & I could not care less that Obama was mentioned &/or pictured in the list. Save the crazy & venom for a year from this November people & then take it to another forum.

  7. AllBOdoesisgolf

    Jun 17, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    The “funny” part is that WRX does not allow politics of any kind…. hypocrisy much?

  8. Bobtrumpet

    Jun 17, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    “You know what a Cadet Medium-Large is.”

    Yeah, it’s my glove size! 🙂

  9. Jake Anderson

    Jun 17, 2015 at 12:03 pm

    do you know this because you are a communist yourself, mr. so-called joeamerican? i would not think so, but please be frank.

  10. Drew R.

    Jun 17, 2015 at 11:54 am

    When driving on a curvy tree-line highway, sometimes I imagine what shot shape I would take. In the gym, I don’t check myself in the mirror. I check my feet, hip and shoulder alignment before taking an imaginary swing. When shopping with my fiancee, i used a hanger to drill my putter stroke. I once caught myself wondering what was the bounce angle of serving spoon.

  11. stu

    Jun 17, 2015 at 7:17 am

    Kelly Tilghman hot? Get some glasses.

  12. Dirk

    Jun 16, 2015 at 10:12 pm

    Good lord! Just a picture of Obama brings the Foxnews lunatics out of the woodwork! Sweet baby Jane you guys need to take a deep breath and relax!

    • Tom Hill

      Jun 17, 2015 at 12:12 am

      Thanks Dirk – every US president since Jimmy Carter has played golf and that’s what I meant when I wrote “You know you’re a golfer when you’re proud that the President plays golf.” And in fact, that stanza actually somewhat implies that the golfer is not necessarily proud of the president (whoever is in office now), his actions, or even what he stands for, but we’re proud that the person holding the office of president (supposedly the most powerful person in the world) is a golfer, like we all are. I didn’t choose the image of President Obama that was put with the article, but don’t all of us recognize ourselves… killing time while lost in our shared passion… in what’s conveyed in that picture?

  13. mike

    Jun 16, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    I don’t know why so many people are giving this a shank I think this article is freaking hysterical and most golfers know that at least half of these applied to them and its true and funny but I don’t understand why all the people are not hitting like vs shank

    • chris

      Jun 16, 2015 at 3:52 pm

      They probably hit “shank” because they don’t think it’s funny. At least that’s why I clicked it.

      • ron

        Jun 17, 2015 at 10:34 am

        For me- It’s not so much “not funny”, but not really good points. Could have been better. Pretty sure there a forum thread on here on this with some good stuff in there.

    • Scott

      Jun 17, 2015 at 12:15 pm

      yep, this is a shank

      • Mike

        Jun 21, 2015 at 6:16 pm

        Why shank. Golfers need to chill and check your ego at the door. What are the reasons f I r spanking this

  14. ITstan

    Jun 16, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    The destruction artist in that image makes me want to puke!

  15. MartyMoose09

    Jun 16, 2015 at 1:55 pm

    Barry has a very weak grip, no wonder he’s never gotten better at golf.

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Opinion & Analysis

Brandel Chamblee PGA Championship Q&A: Rose’s huge McLaren risk, distracted LIV pros and why Aronimink suits the bombers

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PGA Championship week is here, and Brandel Chamblee did not hold back in our latest discussion ahead of the season’s second major.

In our 2026 PGA Championship Q&A, golf’s leading analyst made the case that PIF pulling LIV’s funding has left its players competing in a state of confusion, called Justin Rose’s mid-season equipment switch a huge risk at 45, and explained why Aronimink will be a bombers’ delight this week.

Check out the full Q&A below.

Gianni: With the PIF confirming that they’re pulling funding from LIV at the end of the season, what impact do you expect that to have on the LIV players competing at the PGA Championship?

Brandel: I would imagine that they have all been thrown into a state of confusion, and will be distracted, not knowing where they are going to play next year and not knowing exactly their road back to either the DP World Tour or the PGA Tour. Or in Rahm’s case, being tied to a sinking ship for the next few years, likely playing for pennies on the dollar in events that no one cares about or watches.

I doubt this would put him in the best frame of mind to compete at his highest level. Keeping in mind, however, that majors are the only time that LIV disciples get to play in events that matter, so never disregard the motivation they have to prove to the world they are still relevant.

Gianni: Justin Rose switched to McLaren Golf equipment mid-season while playing some of the best golf of his career. What do you make of the change?

Brandel: I don’t really know what to make of Rose switching equipment. It seems a huge risk on his part, even though it is likely, in my opinion, that the clubs he’s playing are similar, if not the exact grinds, to what he was playing previously, with a McLaren stamp on them.

Having said that, at best, it is a distraction when he seemed to be as dialed in with his game as any 45-year-old could be and trending in the majors to perhaps do something that would definitely put him in the Hall of Fame. At worst, given the possibility that these clubs aren’t just duplicates of his old set stamped with McLaren on them, he’s made an equipment change that would take time, and 45-year-old athletes don’t have the time to do such things.

Gianni: Aronimink has only hosted a handful of professional events since it hosted the 1962 PGA Championship. What kind of test does it present, and does a course with less recent major championship history tend to level the playing field?

Brandel: Even though Aronimink has only hosted a handful of meaningful professional events, it has been fairly discerning in who can win there. When Keegan Bradley won the BMW Championship on the Donald Ross masterpiece in 2018, he was the 2nd best iron player on tour coming into that week. When Nick Watney won the AT&T at Aronimink in 2011, he was 2nd in strokes gained total coming into the week.

In 2020, Aronimink hosted the KPMG Championship, and Sei Young Kim won. On the LPGA that year, she was first in greens in regulation, putts per green in regulation, and scoring average on the way to being the LPGA player of the year. And then there is the 1962 PGA Championship won by Gary Player, who eventually became just one of a few players to win the career grand slam on the way to winning 9 majors. It is a formidable test, and if it’s not softened by rain, it will bring out the best in the upper echelons of the game.

Gianni: Is there a specific hole at Aronimink that you think will do the most to decide the winner?

Brandel: The hardest hole at Aronimink in each of the three tour events that have been played there since 2010 has been the long par-3 8th hole, with the par-4 10th being the second hardest, so most of the carnage will happen around the turn, but with the par-5 16th offering opportunities for bold plays and the tough closing holes at 17 and 18, the finish is likely to be frenetic.

Gianni: The PGA Championship has always sat in the shadow of the other majors. What does the ideal PGA Championship look like in your eyes, and what would it take for it to carve out its own identity?

Brandel: The PGA Championship, to whatever degree it suffers from the comparison to the other three majors, is still counted just as much when adding them up at the end of one’s career. Almost 1/3 of Nicklaus’ major wins were the five PGA Championships he won. Walter Hagen won 11 majors, five of which were PGA Championships.

Tiger Woods twice in his career won back-to-back PGA Championships, and those four majors count just as much as the other 11 he won. The PGA may not have the prestige of the other three, but it carries the same weight. Having said that, I preferred the identity that it had as the last major of the year.

Gianni: You nailed your Masters picks. Rory won, Scottie finished solo second, and Morikawa surged to a tie for seventh. Who are your top 3 picks for the PGA Championship and why?

Brandel: I am not a huge fan of majors played on golf courses that have been shorn of most of the trees, although I understand some of the agronomic reasons for doing so and of course the ease with which it allows members to play after errant drives. However, at the highest level, it all but eliminates any strategy off the tee and turns professional golf into an even bigger slugfest. That means that it will likely be a bomber’s delight this week, but fortunately, Scottie Scheffler is long enough to play that game and straight enough to play it better than anyone else.

The major championships give us very few surprises anymore, going back to the beginning of 2012, so the last 57 majors played, the average world rank of the winners has been better than 15th in the world. So look at the highest ranked and longest drivers who are on form coming into the PGA Championship who also have great short games as the surrounds at Aronimink are very challenging. That’s Scottie Scheffler by a mile and then McIlroy and Cameron Young with a far bigger nod towards DeChambeau than I gave him at the Masters.

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Club Junkie

A putter that I love and hate – Club Junkie Podcast

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In this episode of the Club Junkie Podcast, we dive into one of the most interesting flatstick releases of the year with a full review of the new TaylorMade SYSTM 2 putters. After spending time on the greens, I break down what makes this design stand out, where it performs, and why it has me completely torn between loving it and fighting it. If you are into feel, alignment, and consistency, this is one you will want to hear about.

We also take a look at some of the putters in play on the PGA Tour last week. From familiar favorites to a few surprising setups, there is always something to learn from what the best players in the world are rolling with under pressure.

To wrap things up, I walk through the process of building a set of JP Golf Prime irons paired with Baddazz Gold Series shafts. From component selection to performance goals, this is a deep dive into what goes into creating a unique custom set and why this combo has been so intriguing.

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Opinion & Analysis

From 14 handicap to pro: 4 things I’d tell golfers at 50

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This year my 50th birthday. Gosh, where has the time gone?

As a teenager in rural Missouri, some of my junior high and high school years felt interminable. Graduation seemed light years away. But the older I get, the faster life seems to fly by.

I’m also increasingly aware of my mortality. My dad died recently. Earlier this year, a friend and fellow PGA of America professional and I were texting about our next catch-up. The next message I received was news of his unexpected passing at 48. Shortly after, a woman I dated in college succumbed to cancer at 51.

Certainly, one can share perspective at any age. Seniors help freshmen, veterans guide rookies. But reaching this milestone feels like as good a time as any to do one of those “what would I tell my younger self?” articles.

I’ve had a uniquely varied career in golf. I started as a 27-year-old, average-length-hitting, 14-handicap computer engineer and somehow managed to turn pro before running out of money, constantly bootstrapping my way forward. I’ve won qualifiers and set venue records in the World Long Drive Championships, finished fifth at the Speedgolf World Championships, coached all skill levels as a PGA of America professional, built industry-leading swing speed training programs for Swing Man Golf, helped advance the single-length iron market with Sterling Irons®, caddied on the PGA TOUR and PGA TOUR Champions, and played about 300 courses across 32 countries.

It’s been a ride, and I’ve gone both deep and wide.

So while I can consult and advise from a lot of angles, let me keep it to a few things I’d tell the average golfer who wants to improve.

1. Think About What You Want

Everyone has their own reason for picking up a golf club.

Oddly, as a professional athlete, I’m not internally driven by competition. That can be challenging, as the industry currently prioritizes and incentivizes competition over the love of the game.

For me, I love walking and being outdoors. Nature helps balance my energy. I prefer courses that are integrated into the natural beauty of their surroundings. I’m comfortable practicing alone. I’m a deep thinker, and I genuinely enjoy investigating the game, using data and intuition to unearth unique, often innovative insights. I’m fortunate to be strong and athletic, so I appreciate the chance to engage with my abilities. Traveling feels adventurous. I could go on.

You don’t have to overthink it like I do. For you, it might be as simple as hitting balls to escape work, hanging out with friends, and playing loosely with the rules and the score.

The point is to give yourself permission to play for your own reasons, and let that be enough.

But if improvement is your goal, thinking about your destination—and when you want to get there—is important, because it dictates the steps you need to take. When I set out to go from a 14-handicap to the PGA TOUR as quickly as possible, the steps I needed were very different from those of a working golfer trying to break 90 in six months. That’s also different from someone who just wants a few peaceful hours outside each week, away from work or family.

None of these goals are better than the others, but each requires a different plan that you can work backward from.

2. There Are Lots of Things That Can Work

One of the challenges of golf is that, although there are rules for playing, there aren’t clear, industry-wide standards for how to best play the game. There’s a lot of gray area.

You might hear a top coach or trainer insist that a certain move is the best way to swing or train. Then you dig a bit deeper and, much to your confusion and frustration, another respected coach or trainer says something completely different. I don’t think anyone is trying to confuse you—at least I hope not. It’s just where the industry is right now.

You have to be careful with advice from tournament pros, too. They might be great at scoring, but they’re also human and sometimes just as susceptible as amateurs to believing things that don’t really move the needle. Tour players might describe what they feel, but that’s not always what they’re actually doing when assessed with technology.

I recently ran a test on my YouTube channel (which connects to my GolfWRX article “How to use your hands in the golf swing for power and accuracy”), and, interestingly, two of the most commonly taught hand actions produced the worst results in the test.

Coaches can certainly help. If you find someone you connect with to help navigate, that’s great. But there are many ways to get the ball in the hole. In the current landscape, you may need to seek multiple opinions, think critically, and use your own intuition to discern what seems true and whose advice resonates with you.

I’d recommend seeking someone who is open-minded and always learning, because things constantly change. Absolutes like “correct” or “proper” should raise a red flag. AI can be useful, but it tends to confidently repeat popular advice, so proceed with caution.

3. Get Custom Fit

If you’re serious about becoming a better player, getting custom fit is hugely important. There’s no sense fighting your equipment if you don’t have to. Most better players get fit these days and, if they don’t, they’re usually skilled enough to work around clubs that aren’t ideal.

If you plan to play for a long time, it’s worth spending a little more upfront to get something that truly fits you and your game, rather than continually buying and discarding equipment.

Equipment rules haven’t really changed significantly since the early 2000s. To stay in business, manufacturers keep pushing those limits. If you pull a bunch of clubs and balls off the rack and test them, you’ll find differences. I’ve tested two new drivers and seen a 30-yard total distance gap. Usually, the issue isn’t bad equipment; it’s that the combination of components simply isn’t the best fit.

It’s like wearing a new pair of floppy clown shoes. Sure, they’re shoes—but you won’t sprint your best in them compared to track shoes that fit perfectly.

Be wary of what’s called custom fitting, too. Sometimes the term is used as a marketing strategy rather than an actual fitting. In some retail settings, fitters may be incentivized to steer you toward higher-priced components. That doesn’t automatically mean it’s not the best fit, but you should be aware of potential biases.

I learned a version of this lesson outside of golf. Years ago, I bought a tennis racquet at a big box store from a seemingly knowledgeable employee who thought it would suit me best. The racquet gave me tennis elbow, and I spent months recovering with rest and acupuncture. The next season, I invested more time and money to find what actually fit me, and I walked away with something amazing that I still play with years later.

So if you’re going to get fit, be smart about it.

Find someone you believe has deep knowledge—possibly with certifications, but not necessarily. Make sure there’s a wide inventory across many brands. Check recent reviews for the individual fitter if possible. Make sure you trust that the fitter has your best interests at heart. If they’re wearing a hat or shirt with a specific brand’s logo, proceed with caution. Unless you specifically want a certain brand or look, be wary of upsells, especially if two options perform nearly the same.

Also, while golf is called a sport of integrity, there’s a thread of manipulation in the industry. I once drafted an equipment article for an industry magazine, structured just like one of their previous popular stories, with matching word count and great photos. The assistant editor loved it; it was useful to readers and required little work on his part. But the editor-in-chief nixed the story. When I asked why, I was told it was because I wasn’t an advertiser. It turned out the article I’d modeled mine after was a paid ad cleverly disguised as editorial content.

I really dislike games, clickbait, and fear-based manipulation. I hope this changes, but golfers deserve to know it exists.

4. Distance and Strategy Matter

There’s a real relationship between how far you hit the ball and your scoring average, even at the PGA TOUR level.

I experienced this early in my pro career. I started as a power hitter, swinging in the high 120s and breaking 200 mph ball speed with a stock driver.

Back then, some instructors advised swinging at 80%, so I tried slowing down for more accuracy. That worked fine on shorter, tighter courses. But on longer setups, I was coming into greens with too much club, and par 5s stopped being

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